"Eva, just admit it," a guy friend insisted recently. 'You're a flirt."
"What exactly do I do that makes you think that?"
He pondered for a moment, before sheepishly answering, "You smile... and make eye contact.
Sometimes, smart people say dumb things.
For example, I surfed with a buddy recently. Super smart guy. Successful exits and all that. Yet he couldn't seem to wrap his mind around the idea that my good friend (whom he'd never met, whom I've known for years -- apparently, men are really bad at gathering sufficient information before leaping to conclusions) likes me because I'm cool, and not because I use my "feminine wiles."
Let's bust yet another popular psychology myth.
"Money doesn't buy happiness."
"Before others can love you, you have to love yourself."
Popular psychology is full of myths and misperceptions. Money does buy happiness (if you know how to spend it). We like people who are like us (though, often, people who are complementary attract.) And saying, "Before others can love you, you have to love yourself," is ridiculous, and makes zero sense.
While technically Halloween is on the 31st, everyone knows that the joy of terror, horror, and benevolent transgressions must be celebrated for the entire month of October.
I started my month by thinking about these adorable and ridiculous Halloween shoes. But soon, I started seeing elaborate displays in some of my neighbors' yards.
"I peed on the campfire last night, and it steamed my lady parts," I told my backpacking companions last night, in what I thought would be a helpful contribution to a conversation about relieving oneself in nature.
The response was one I'd already heard several times that weekend: "Eva! You're... something else."
I suppose it could be argued that I'm socially awkward -- though I definitely don't feel that way. And I'm pretty sure most people don't see me that way. Why? Just because you say and do awkward things... doesn't mean you have to be awkward or unpleasant to be around.
One of the best things in life… is basketball. Intramural, adult leagues, or even just pickup. Probably half the people I know right now, I met playing basketball.
Including the author of this guest post, Sam Ransohoff.
Sam and I met playing basketball, and went on to co-author Whether Fit-Shaming or Fat-Shaming, It Still Needs to STOP on Fitness Reloaded. We had so much fun, we decided to keep at it!
Without further ado... here's 10 Things You Do At Pickup That I Make Fun of You For.
Privilege is real. When I first graduated from college, I was definitely not in a position to "start my own thing." I had few savings, I lived in an expensive area, and I needed a job that would pay me now. I couldn't afford to "start something" that would probably fail, and definitely not be profitable for at least few months.
So I took a job at a startup. It was a daily deal site, like Groupon. And, like Groupon, it spent a lot on advertising. My daily ad spend was $13,000 -- and I didn't even know enough to know that was absurd.
By the time that company ran out of runway, I had enough savings that I finally was in a position to "start my own thing" -- and it's been awesome!
"I'm socially awkward."
"I have, like, zero social skills."
"I don't want to go to the party because I never know what to do at parties."
We've all heard -- or even uttered -- such phrases. Maybe when you hear it, you feel sympathetic. But when I hear it, I feel slightly annoyed. "Socially awkward" is a choice. Saying you have "bad social skills," to me, sounds like saying, "I'm bad at basketball," when you haven't played since middle school.
Let me start by saying: I lied. Kind of. Psychology research shows that Unless You're a Psychopath, You Are OBSESSED With What Others Think of You. Because the ability to cooperate and form large societies is one of the biggest evolutionary advantages ever, we are hardwired to care tremendously when people think bad things about us.
BUT! We can absolutely decrease how sensitive to and aware of others' opinions we feel. Here are three scientifically proven ways to liberate yourself, and just be you.
This post was originally published as Eva Glasrud's answer to, "Can an awkward angry bitter lonely woman learn how to be beautiful on the inside"?
I was recently asked how someone with several negative traits and emotions can become beautiful on the inside. Making a personal change is always hard -- but it's not as hard as you might think.
About the Author
Eva is a content specialist with a passion for play, travel... and a little bit of girl power. Read more >
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