Thanks to Helicopter Parents, Today's Children Are Literally Incapable of Playing Tag.

Mounting evidence shows that over-supervising and over-scheduling your child stunts their emotional and cognitive development. But now we know it stunts their physical development, too.

This morning, I discovered Action Movie Kid -- and instantly shared him on my Facebook page.

Obviously, these stunts are highly computer-generated... but what I loved about them is that they really help adults glimpse into a child's imagination. Crossing the monkey bars or jumping around on furniture can REALLY feel like that!

That joy, that imagination... it isn't just magical. It's also an important part of child development. As I wrote in Kids' Games are Getting More Dangerous, And It's ENTIRELY Their Parents' Fault:​

Children are hardwired to explore. Risk-taking (or, at least, the perception thereof) is in their nature. Risks tend to manifest themselves in one of six ways: 

1. Exploring heights
2. Handling "dangerous" tools, such as scissors, knives or hammers
3. Being near dangerous elements, such as water or fire (or, as was the case in Stand By Me, a dead body)
4. Rough-and-tumble play (which is a way for kids to learn to negotiate aggression and cooperation)
5. Speed -- e.g. cycling, skateboarding, ice skating at a pace that feels too fast
6. Exploring on their own

When kids do these things, they will eventually fall down. Bruise their arm. Skin their knee. Maybe even break a finger. It will hurt. BUT...

Research by Ellen Sandseter, a professor of early-childhood education at Queen Maud University College in Trondheim, Norway, has found that kids who spend more time exploring on their own before the age of nine are less likely to to have anxiety and separation issues as adults. Likewise, kids who got hurt falling from heights when they were 5-9 years old are less likely to be afraid of heights at age 18.

Our minor injuries actually give us confidence. They teach us what our limits are, how to handle ourselves in scary situations... and that, even if something goes wrong and you get hurt, you can get better. (Resilience for the win!)

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The perception of risk and independence makes your child feel empowered and independent, rather than weak, fragile, and victimized. It decreases their chances of developing phobias and mental illness... 

But participating in basic games that involve basic, minimal risk, also increases your child's safety. For example, because of over-supervision and over-scheduling, today's children haven't developed the physical skills they need to safely play tag. As I wrote in the aforementioned post:

Schools across the country have banned the popular childhood game, Tag, from the playground. According to Why Kids Are Getting More Aggressive on the Playground, a recent post by occupational therapist Angela Hanscom,

"Kids are starting to hit with such force that they often end up whacking their opponent across the back in a monstrous slap. I’ve seen this myself many times. “Ouch!” one kid cries, now on their hands and knees and fighting off tears. “Don’t hit so hard!” they yell up at the child standing over them. Often, you hear the other child whine, “I didn’t mean too…” Many times the act seems unintentional, although painful for the victim nonetheless. Tag is now becoming such an issue that schools are starting to ban this once beloved game."
 
Clearly, the kids don't mean to hurt each other. But they can't help it. Their parents have stunted their physical and cognitive development. They have not developed the same proprioceptive sense (i.e., muscle and joint control) as the kids of yesteryear.

Back in the day, kids used to go outside and play. Not only was it a magical part of their childhood... but it was also an essential part of their development. They learned how to use their bodies to make a snowman or throw a snowball. They learned how to race up hills, balance beam on 2x4s, and pump their legs to operate a swing. They built forts and dams. They rode bikes and climbed trees.

And, yes. Sometimes they would hit or push or "tag" another child too hard. And they would see that they hurt the other child, and learn from it. Because they had good proprioceptive sense, they were able to fine-tune their motions and be gentler next time.

As an added benefit, they learned how to communicate, compromise, and negotiate as they got together with other children, invented games and made up their own rules. (You know, as opposed to a hovering parent telling them what they were going to play and how -- and then proceeding to mediate every little dispute. Are you trying to raise an entrepreneur... or a mindless hoop jumper?) These are skills that are known to increase your child's lifetime earning potential -- not to mention happiness, mental health and relationships.

This is tragic. But you know what they say about good intentions, right?

If you feel like you might be one of "those parents" -- one who is so concerned about your child's safety (a completely understandable emotion!) that you might be stifling their creativity and development; one who often intervenes in children's games, assigning rules, teams, and positions, even though this role was previously filled by child participants of said games -- I highly recommend checking out Free Range Kids: How to Raise Safe, Self-Reliant Children (Without Going Nuts With Worry) by Lenore Skenazy.

It's literally the best $7 you will ever spend. 

Next, check out Mike Lanza's Playborhood: Turn Your Neighborhood Into a Place of Play. It will help you make your neighborhood a safe and magical place for kids to play. It addresses issues like managing traffic in your community and making outdoor play more social (one common problem is that other kids don't play outside, so outside is "lonely"). If that doesn't inspire you, I don't know what will.

I also adore Last Child in the Woods: Saving Our Kids From Nature Deficit Disorder by Richard Louv -- not only because it was a very thoughtful and touching gift from my manager when I worked as an archeologist in Yosemite National Park, but also because it does a great job of explaining the important relationship children (and adults) have with nature. 

As an added bonus, getting your child out in the grass and dirt will help them develop a healthy microbiome and decrease their chances of developing dangerous allergies and asthma.

And if you want a specific piece of actionable advice that costs nothing and you can start using right away, this is it:

Next time you see your child playing, and your parental instinct to intervene kicks in, take three breaths first.

Ask yourself, is this activity really too rough or dangerous for my child? Is my child really incapable of negotiating rules or disagreements with other children? 

If you give your child the chance to think through the risks of an activity before you jump in, or to solve his or her own conflicts with parental involvement, you might be surprised by what your child is really capable of.