The Happy Talent
  • Blog
  • About
  • Popular
  • Education
  • Social Science
  • Travel
  • Products
  • Contact
"It is a happy talent to know how to play."

Interesting Ways to Start Online Conversations (That AREN'T "Hi" or "Hey")

4/27/2017

0 Comments

 
Picture
"I'm tired of using the typical hi or hey to start conversations on chat apps. What are some interesting and unique ways to start chats with women?"

This all-too-common question has come up enough times that I thought it was worth answering. And I'm going to be blunt.

If you’re “starting conversations” with the “typical hey or hi,” it means one thing:

You’re not chatting me because you have something to say. You’re chatting me for the sake of chatting me.

That’s boring.

If someone sends me a message like that, I don’t answer. I mean, maybe if I happen to be sitting around doing absolutely nothing. But, like... I'm a play expert. That almost literally never happens. 

Picture
I literally stop to smell the roses. Or... peach blossoms?
If you want to have a conversation with someone, have a conversation. SAY SOMETHING.

This is where a lot of so-called "nice guys" run into trouble. They're nice... but that's it. They have nothing else to offer. No ideas. No opinions. No thoughts or invitations. 

If you want to have a lively conversation -- one that, perhaps, turns into a friendship or a relationship -- you have to be "nice" as a minimum requirement. But if that's all you are, to quote Sondheim, "You're not good, you're not bad, you're just nice."

Be more. Say more. Say something! 

For example, here are the messages I’ve used to initiate the last however many online and mobile conversations I’ve had:
  • Hey, new bestie! What’s the deal with the tournament this weekend?
  • Yo, man. Let’s play ball on Wednesday.
  • OMG so guess who won the songwriting contest? (Hint: it was not me)
  • Whaddduuuup, motherfucker??!!! It’s Holy Week. Wanna do some Jesus Christ Superstar karaoke on Thursday?
  • OMG you’ll never guess who I’ve been playing basketball with for years without even knowing it. I’ll give you a hint: he’s contributed to Nobel Prize-winning economics research and I cite him to my students ALL the time.
  • Check out this crazy article about Big Sur — apparently it’s an island and a ghost town right now. WANNA GO SEE IT?????? 
  • Hi, Jeff. I saw the video you posted of your new album. You’re clearly a “real” songwriter, and I am not. Can I pick your brain about something?
  • OMG, guess whose birthday party I went to last night? Hint: HE thinks HE'S your best friend, when we both know clearly *I* am.
  • Hey, so... FRIZZZZZZZZZZ?* 

*Which I hoped/assumed the person would understand to mean "let's play ultimate frisbee"

See how, when I message people, it’s because I actually want to SAY something? It’s not because I’m bored. It’s not because I want to hit on them. It’s because we have a common interest, a mutual friend, or a plan to do something together.

Each of these conversations ended up being super interesting, and I ended up learning a lot. If you want to start a conversation with someone, have something to say or ask.
Because, again, “hi” and “hey” are boring, and I typically ignore such messages.

So say, as someone asked me recently, you don't actually know the person. You're messaging someone online that you don't know.

First of all, just... why?

If it's Facebook, the message is going to go into her "other" folder, and she'll never see it. If it's online dating, she will have written a whole little profile that you could... you know. Read? Determine if you have a common interest? Or, if not, ask her a question about something she mentioned?

Most women aren't wild about "spray and pray" (or is it "prey"?) messages. If you could have sent the exact same message to everyone on the dating app, chances are it won't catch her attention. If you can't take the time to read her profile before reaching out, why should she take the time to reply?
0 Comments



Leave a Reply.

    About the Author
    Picture
    Eva is a content specialist with a passion for play, travel... and a little bit of girl power.  Read more >


    Want to support The Happy Talent? CLICK HERE!
    Support the Happy Talent
    Or Find me on Patreon!
    Picture

    What's Popular on The Happy Talent:
    Picture
    Picture
    Picture
    Picture

      Want more?

    Submit

    Trending in Dating and Relationships:
    Picture
    Picture
    Picture
    Picture
    Picture



    ​What's Popular in Science:
    Picture
    Picture
    Picture
    Picture


    Playfulness and Leisure Skills:
    Picture
    Picture
    Picture
    Picture
    Picture
    Picture

    Popular in Psychology and Social Skills:
    Picture
    Picture
    Picture
    Picture
    Picture

    Categories

    All
    20s
    Adolescence
    Backpacking
    Boredom
    Boredom Avoidance
    Camping
    Career Advice
    Careers
    Communication
    Confidence
    Consent
    Creativity
    Curiosity
    Dating
    Economy
    Education
    Entrepreneurship
    Fearlessness
    Female Travel
    Feminism
    Free Speech
    Gap Year
    Great Products
    Growth Mindset
    Health
    Hiking
    Hitchhiking
    Life Advice
    Meeting New People
    Mental Health
    Mexico
    Mindfulness
    Most Popular
    National Parks
    Outdoors
    Parenting
    Parenting Advice
    Passive Entertainment
    Play
    Playfulness
    Psychology
    Relationships
    Resilience
    Science
    Scuba Diving
    Self Help
    Self-help
    Sex
    Sports
    Stanford University
    Startups
    Study Abroad
    Summer
    Technology
    Teenagers
    Therapy
    Travel
    Yosemite

    RSS Feed

Proudly powered by Weebly
Photos used under Creative Commons from paweesit, Steven Penton, torbakhopper, Theo Crazzolara, edenpictures, Kiwi Tom, Wrangell-St. Elias National Park, Homedust, wocintechchat.com, Ralphman, wbaiv, kg.abhi, Jamiecat *, UnitedWarVeterans, D()MENICK, True Portraits, Neville Wootton Photography, Salvation Army USA West, South African Tourism, phalinn, WilliamsProjects, j_bary, Japanexperterna.se, thephotographymuse, Elvert Barnes, ThoroughlyReviewed, hairy:jacques, joncutrer, wuestenigel, Franck_Michel, jimwerner25, Imahinasyon Photography, joanne clifford, m01229, Antonio Campoy Ederra, Our Dream Photography (Personal), shixart1985, davidstewartgets, couples in nature, Dage - Looking For Europe, jonseidman, andymw91, garryknight, wuestenigel, Rosmarie Voegtli, werner.philipps, Gage Skidmore, Novafly, dinuxm1, Eddie Yip, Prayitno / Thank you for (10 millions +) views, DMahendra, James_Seattle, jamkablam, vanitystudiosphotography, Luiz Gustavo Leme, oki_jappo, Daquella manera, CasparGirl, Mary Anne Morgan, inkknife_2000 (10.5 million + views), homethods, wocintechchat, Hypnotica Studios Infinite, dailyrectangle, Tobyotter, torbakhopper, Kevin Johnston, David Robb, eisenberg_emily, True Portraits, Douglas Pimentel, pmarkham, Noize Photography, rawdonfox, dollen, davidstewartgets, ed and eddie, Ryosuke Yagi, Anthony_Greene, Ruth and Dave, best couples, Jenn Durfey, Cost3l, Orin Zebest, anjanettew, dollen, Editor B, Alexander Day, LyndaSanchez, polosopuestosblog, UpSticksNGo, Agência Brasil, homethods, Find Rehab Centers, Novafly, Deornelas4, buzzern, seefit, C. VanHook (vanhookc), University of Delaware Alumni Relations, Franck_Michel, gordontarpley, Chris Photography(王權), usadifranci, virgohobbs, TheUglySweaterShop, popofatticus, Mitya Ku, Stefano Montagner - The life around me, Official U.S. Navy Imagery, xxxology, Valentina (GaiaPhotography), True Portraits, Lars Plougmann, Scioto Photos, Carlos ZGZ, quinn.anya, anokarina, amtecstaffing, mliu92, sfbaywalk, MakaiylaW, jerseytom55, Ray in Manila, BoldContent, stevenbates, Janitors, True Portraits, dwhartwig, Kuruman, sffoghorn
  • Blog
  • About
  • Popular
  • Education
  • Social Science
  • Travel
  • Products
  • Contact