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Is Everyday Feminism... Secretly Anti-Feminist?

10/3/2016

7 Comments

 
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I'm a passionate feminist -- anyone who sincerely thinks there aren't issues that disproportionately or exclusively affect women is probably not thinking clearly.

As a feminist, I know that "feminist" and "equalist" means the same thing -- feminism is about equal rights for all. Feminism is about thinking women are strong and capable. They seek to create wise policies that promote equality and remove unnecessary barriers. They seek to empower women to make decisions and changes that are right for them. 

Now, there's this other movement that calls itself “feminism,” that is definitely  not feminism.
These "feminists," whom I've referred to as Everyday Feminism types, regressive feminists, and fauxminists, believe women are delicate butterflies. They think women are easily damaged and must, in the words of Feministing, be “consciously and actively accommodated.” (See also: Stop Expecting Women to Be Chill About Sex.)

I find regressive feminism to be incredibly infuriating, as most people who haven’t studied social sciences don’t understand the concept of “overrepresentation of extreme views.” They naively believe that "all" or "most" feminists are these extreme, regressive types.

So, for those unfamiliar, overrepresentation of extreme views is a phenomenon that happens because people who are the most extreme are the most likely to respond to polls, write blog posts and op-eds, and share ridiculous Everyday Feminism articles. (See also: 4 Reasons Demanding 'Objectivity' in Social Justice Debates Can Be Oppressive -- then find one actual feminist who agrees.)

Compounding that is the fact that 
social, broadcast and print media prefer to write/share attention-grabbing stories to bland, moderate pieces. Like, what article are you more likely to click? 

​This:
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​Feminists Protest Vagina Monologues Because it's "Not Inclusive Enough"
Or this:
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Most Feminists Think Equality is Good 

For these and other reasons, you're more likely to encounter views expressed by extreme members of either side of a debate, and less likely to encounter the views expressed by the moderate majority. 

​Then, of course, there's the confirmation bias. 

The confirmation bias is the tendency to seek out information that confirms our beliefs -- and our tendency to generalize individual examples that confirm our beliefs to an entire population.

For example, the stereotype of the "crazy girlfriend." Almost every girl I know is totally normal and rational in her relationships (though, obviously, everyone is short-tempered sometimes). But all it takes is one girl to act "crazy," and people say, "See? That's just how women are!"

But what about the 9 out of 10 women who are totally normal?

And what about the fact that, as far as I can tell, guys are just as crazy, if not crazier, than women in relationships?
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Because of this, it's easy to get confused and think that all or most feminists are “like that,” when they absolutely are not.

That's why regressive feminism is a problem. Lots of people mistakenly think that those people represent feminist values.

Well, let me tell you. As a woman, I -- and most women --
 find regressive feminism to be incredibly insulting. It breeds this disgusting view of women as so incredibly different from men that we need to “feminize” things like science and education. Sadly, “research” on these ideas is pulling funding away from legitimate social science research -- and even threatens the very foundations of science, free speech and academia.

Consider the fact that these articles have been published in “scholarly” journals (h/t 
Banned by Everyday Feminism):
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​Structuring feminist science, in Women’s Studies International Forum:
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Are STEM Syllabi Gendered? A Feminist Critical Discourse Analysis, 
in The Qualitative Report
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tl;dr: Words like “attain” and “must” and “will” scare women. Also, shame on professors for teaching critical thinking and the scientific method, because women don’t like the idea of knowledge being something you can “attain” — women like dynamic conversations.

​
Glaciers, gender, and science
, in Progress in Human Geology:
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tl;dr: Science is scary for women, so “alternative knowledges” like folklore (that are generally marginalized through colonialism, imperialism, inequality, unequal power relations, patriarchy) ought to supplement Western science.

This is incredibly offensive. I am a big girl with a big girl brain. I don’t need to be “consciously and actively accommodated.” I don’t need the scientific method to be changed to accommodate my feminized thinking style.

(It's also offensive because, once again, this "research" is pulling funding away from actual research.)

And yet! Even while Everyday Feminism fauxminists claim that women are 
sooooo very different from men that we need to change science (and everything) for them…. they also regularly make anti-scientific claims that men and women are exactly the same. That men should be allowed to compete with women in sports. (The absolutely should not -- here’s why.)

That menopause shouldn’t be viewed as something that affects women.

That we should be outraged by the hashtag, #IfMenHadPeriods — because some men 
do have periods! Forget the very important feminist message that the hashtag originated to convey — that doctors routinely ignore women’s pain and symptoms, because they think rolling on the ground in pain three days a month is “normal,” and totally not the symptom of something serious, like endometriosis (which, undiagnosed, causes infertility), or even a parasitic twin (complete with hair, teeth and a brain).

(Or that women are routinely dismissed by healthcare providers as exaggerating because they’re so emotional — which probably wouldn't happen #IfMenHadPeriods.)


Many of these anti-scientific claims are harmful. For example, both EF and Feministing have written that the orgasm gap exists because of the patriarchy. They pretend that there is no biological difference between the male and female orgasm. That’s not true. The male orgasm is essential for reproduction, and therefore the survival of our entire species. Therefore, there was very strong evolutionary pressure for men to be able to orgasm easily… but not for women. The female orgasm is pretty much just for fun.

Claiming otherwise is only going to make anorgasmic and preorgasmic women, as well as women who struggle to orgasm with a partner, feel like there is something wrong with them, because their biology is the same so they “should” be able to do it.

But that is far from the only anti-feminist, disempowering, anti-scientific, and generally horrible advice EF writes.

For example, in Everyday Feminism Just Posted The WORST Advice EVER For Women, POC and Other Marginalized Folks, I wrote about an EF article that described networking as “entitled white people crap.” This is the OPPOSITE of what you should be telling marginalized people. If you’re a woman, or black, or anything other than a white man, you need to self-promote and network like crazy! After all,


Eventually, you're going to have something to pitch -- yourself, your team, your company, your idea. To do that, you're going to have to get a meeting, a spot at the table.

The person on the other side of the table is probably going to be a white man.

Statistically, that's just true. Maybe someday that will be different. But right now, that is the case.

The person on the other side of the table is probably going to be a white man.

This has implications for women and people of color. For example, when you feel "a general distaste or hatred for white people," (a sentiment endorsed by the "intersectional" feminists of Scripps College) you're doing ourself a huge disservice. You are shutting down relationships and opportunities before they have a chance to begin... all on the basis of skin color. (Not to mention all the negative mental and physical consequences of filling yourself with anger, resentment and hatred.) Read more >
​


In The Everyday Feminism Guide to Inclusive Party Planning: A 10,000-Point Checklist, I wrote about the ridiculousness and impossibility of accommodating every possible disability at every time. Also — no! I’m not down with having random men “sniffing” me before I enter parties or events to make sure I’m not wearing a chemical fragrance. What about my right not to be touched and sniffed by strangers?

But no. Making sure every single person feels included is more important than my right to feel comfortable at a party.

It also trumps the ability of thousands of low-income and geographically diverse people to access U.C. Berkeley's free online courses. Rather than celebrate this huge effort to increase accessibility of elite education... the regressives shut it down. If deaf people can't use it (because Cal can't afford to add captions), NO ONE CAN!

​In 
An Emerging Problem With "Intersectional" Feminism: The Scramble for Victimhood, I write about how Everyday Feminism and other regressives proudly and admittedly don’t value research, science, facts, data and certain peoples’ opinions as much as oppressed peoples’ “lived experience.”  There's even this "emerging" field called "autoethnography," in which "scholars" write about their "lived experience"... in a scholarly way? 

And, since it's so personal to them, you're not supposed to criticize it. As per Times Higher Education's recent piece, Twitter trolls: time for academics to fight back?

​Perhaps it’s no surprise that I’m drawn to the “putting yourself out there” approach that Twitter embodies. In my research, I draw on lived experience and place my personal narrative at the forefront. In short, I write about myself. Using an emerging methodology called autoethnography, I engage in a deep reflective process by critiquing my multiple identities as teacher, researcher, supervisor, mentor, colleague, lawyer, administrator and leader.
​


Ladies. Gentlemen. This is NOT research. If you want to write about your "lived experience," start a blog! "Autoethnography" has no place in academia. Saying so isn't "academic bullying." It's criticisim of a horrible idea. Is this what "feminized" academia looks like?

In the same blog post, I gave several alarming examples of the “hierarchy of oppression,” an implicit understanding by regressives that oppressed peoples’ rights matter more than mine, because they’re more “oppressed.” For example:

​In Tips for Flying While Fat, “feminist” Jes Baker writes, "Sitting down next to someone and it’s super tight? Don’t pretend like it’s not happening. Say, 'Looks like we get to share a personal space bubble today!' Jennifer McLellan of Plus Size Birth has said, 'Hope you like cuddling!' Laugh about it."

So... because you are a person of size and I have "thin privilege," my bodily autonomy no longer matters? Because you are more oppressed than I am, I'm not allowed to say, No, I don't want you to touch my body?

What happened to no means no? What happened to yes means yes? I throw up in my mouth a little every time I hear someone say, "I hope you like (kind of physical contact)," because it implies I have no say in the matter.

It's not cute. It's not funny. It doesn't make the subsequent physical contact okay.
​
I get that being fat sucks -- but I have rights, too. Whether I have a condition like claustrophobia, social anxiety, or post traumatic stress -- or whether I am simply a person who is disgusted by unwanted physical touch -- I have a right not to be touched. That is something every feminist in the world should be able to agree on.


How much more anti-feminist can you get?

Well... in the same post, I write about a white rape victim who apologized to her rapist for filing a police report, because he was a “refugee,” and therefore more oppressed than she. She felt so terrible about reporting him, she actually lied about his race in the original police report. Read more >

Is this promoting equality? Is this creating a safer, more equal world for women?

No. Everyday Feminism is doing little to promote equality. It’s an example of an extreme form of "feminism" that views women as helpless, voiceless butterflies. It simultaneously promotes the idea that men and women are so very different that men, and the workplace, and everything, must be changed to "accommodate" women... 
and the idea that men and women are exactly the same, despite, you know, science.

And because laypeople don’t understand the idea of the confirmation bias and the overrepresentation of extreme views, such publications do a massive disservice to feminists who view women warriors.
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7 Comments
CarobSteviaMate
10/11/2016 11:37:10 am

As always, you completely nail it. Hate being what feels like a "fanclub of one" as you deserve a million hits and 100s of posts.

The Fativists are particularly obnoxious. I have a few of them in my troll facebook account and they never fail to amuse. Some like to post blow-by-blow accounts of their visits to their doctor and standing up to them when they suggest that maybe, JUST MAYBE, a little diet and exercise may help their poor numbers go down. "but, doc, you don't understand, I'm a fativist and you are body-shaming me with your tips!" And because they have deleted all their friends who don't support fativism, they just have an echo chamber of the "differently sized" to agree with them... hence they start to view their actions as socially acceptable.

Now, also keep in mind that many of them are also mentally ill and VERY into intersectionality between, say, "mad rights", fativism, police brutality, Palestinian jihad, etc. Mad rights is something I'm not sure you have touched yet, but is a particularly nasty strain of PC. Basically, because mental illness is stigmatized (true, and I have nothing but sympathy for the afflicted) , we should essentially get RID of the entire notion of mental illness! Now, many of the people pushing this line are just a LITTLE off and able to function in society to a degree, and not dependent on publicallly-financed drugs or SSDI payments. So it doesn't occur to them how such a motion (declassification and non-diagnosis of mental illness) would DESTROY the lives of many who rely on drugs, public support, public health, etc. Very similar to the post-op trans folks who want to phase out the notion of "gender dysphoria" as a medical concept.

Do they realize that the PRE-op folks will have to pay out of pocket for surgery, psych care, etc. if it isn't recognized as a condition by public health or insurance companies? Same thing is coming for the mentally ill if they mad rights crowd gets their way.

And guess what? I've struggled with weight off and on since I was a kid? You know what REALLY made a difference? Diet and exercise... I suspect the number of "hormonal obesity" sufferers is right around the number of trans folks, celiac sufferers, extreme peanut allergy-sufferers, etc. TINY and not large enough to inconvenenience large portions of society.

Also, if you are spilling out into the next seat on a plane, buy a damn second ticket. That's what I would do.

Reply
Torkuda
11/24/2016 10:24:20 pm

This was a pretty well thought out feminist article.

I might start using you as source for legitimate women's issues. I'm actually an MRA... well, that is to say, I'm an egalitarian who chooses to address mostly men's issues, because I am a man and understand those better. However I refuse to listen to other MRAs with this BS line of there's that the world is "gynocentric". I'll keep fighting to open men's abuse shelters and to get male rape victims treated like human beings rather than disgraces to society, but yea, you keep fighting to get doctors to listen to their patients and pay attention to serious symptoms. I have no problem with this. I hope you and I can call each other allies.Why should the rights of men conflict with the rights of women? In the end, we should all have the SAME rights and protections.

Reply
Rowan
1/16/2017 03:30:38 am


Your take on men's rights sounds a lot like like mine on feminism, I want to support all genders, but focus a lot on women's issues because I understand them more.

That is awesome you are fighting for domestic abuse shelters for men and for male rape survivors.



Reply
Rowan
1/16/2017 06:26:35 am

The suggestion that women can't cope with science unless it's a special, feminine type of "science" is beyond patronising and offensive, whoever wrote that is the opposite of feminist!

Reply
Rowan
1/16/2017 06:34:00 am

I can't believe someone thinks getting rid of the scientific method and creating "science" to further a political goal is a good idea... that is not feminist, it's terrifying.

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Retha link
6/11/2017 12:28:05 pm

I disagree with the first point:

" feminism is about equal rights for all...They seek to create wise policies that promote equality and remove unnecessary barriers.

[Other] "feminists," ... believe women are delicate butterflies. They think women are easily damaged and must, in the words of Feministing, be “consciously and actively accommodated.”


There is a problem with seeing feminism merely as equality. Imagine a scene where you say everyone gets an equal test: You will test the worth of a monkey, bird, fish, dog and tortoise by how well they can climb trees. The problem is that the test do not show the worth of all species - a fish is useless by that metric.

Likewise, it is easy to think you have achieved feminism when you * give equally light punishments for female sexual abusers and male ones; * do equally little to tell women they can be preachers (many churches tell women that only men can be preachers) as you do to tell men they can; * do equally little to protect women as men from rape; * and praise sleeping around equally in both sexes (women tend to be happier in long term relationships, so a woman-considering perspective would not praise the kind of relationships that does not work for women).

Of course, women must be "consciously and actively accommodated.” But not because we are "delicate butterflies". The world this far have been run from a male perspective and by focusing on male needs. This needs to change, to equally accommodate female needs when our needs are not exactly the same.

Reply
Kes Sparhawk
5/23/2018 05:25:50 pm

Finally, an opinion I agree with. I share a frustration with "Everyday Feminism" (I secretly have believed it's paid for by the FBI or NSA to disrupt the activism of young feminists, just as they had covert volunteers in my day to distract "radical" groups from organizing around questioning the state and instead steered them toward bombing government sites in order to arrest them.) But blaming the fat individual, or the allergic individual, or whatever for policies which are either implemented to make money (who makes the seats smaller and smaller every year? Not fat people. Not even thin passengers. Profiteers.) Bodily autonomy is legitimate; being aware that your perfume is probably making it impossible for other people to even attend a party is certainly something you should be told -- just as my hospital encourages patients to come fragrance free, but doesn't arrest them if they like perfumed shampoo and don't want to bother. Inconsiderate people are everywhere.

The Supreme Court a few years ago came up with a ridiculous conclusion based on nondiscrimination against women because if men got pregnant, they'd be subject to the same problem (I forget by now what it was. This goes over really well with those who are trying to eliminate the reproductive organs of women from feminist policy, I would imagine, and is completely unfair. Women are biologically different from men -- the degree, and the implications, are still in play, but to pretend that isn't the case is misogyny. I've noticed the Victim Olympics competitions, especially among younger people. It's used as an excuse to write off any people they don't agree with. That women are marginalized by a male structure which values them for their reproductive abilities? Transwomen aren't, so shut up about it.

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