If I'm in front of you, it's because I got here first — and I'm not going to prioritize your enjoyment over mine. Image: @TheHappyTalent
I'm six feet tall — and my whole life, I thought being tall was the greatest thing ever.
I love towering over others. I love being bigger and stronger than most people. I love the fearlessness and confidence that has allowed me to travel the world alone for literally years (which, of course, is not entirely due to my height; I had to actively develop many of the skills I needed to live this way).
Though I wasn't "old for my age" growing up, I certainly benefitted in many of the ways Malcolm Gladwell discussed in Outliers: The Story of Success. Just like the youth hockey players who got more coaching, feedback, game time, and opportunities due to the fact that they were older than their peers, my height gave me an edge over my peers, leading to more and better opportunities throughout my youth sports career, leading to me becoming an outstanding female athlete.
Given my accomplishments, talents, and life experiences, my physical beauty is probably the least interesting thing about me — but I'd be lying if I said I don't love having legs for days. (#ChooseBeautiful.)
Being tall is awesome.
Image: @EvaViaMusic — where you can also listen to music from my most recent show!
There's only real drawback I've noticed — well, two. One, obviously, is that it's ever-so-slightly less comfortable to sit on a bus or a plane. Boo hoo.
Two, when my nose is stuffy, I feel like everyone can look right up into my boogers, since most people live below my nostrils.
That's it. Everything else, I love.
It didn't even occur to me until a few weeks ago, when a friend invited me to join a Facebook group for tall women (which, by the way, y'all should join MY facebook group for people who like my blog), that I realized some tall women don't absolutely adore being tall.
Some have been bullied for their height. Some have politely rejected men, only for the men to retaliate by calling them trans. (And weirdly, as an aside: this is a topic that comes up semi-regularly in this tall women Facebook group. Obviously these wounded and insecure trolls aren't actually mistaking tall women for trans — it's extremely easy to distinguish between males and females. They're just miserable little losers trying to make themselves feel better by lashing out at others. Unfortunately, their words do hurt many of the women they're aimed at, and when these women come onto the Facebook group seeking support, they're criticized and silenced for "acting like it's a bad thing to be trans." It's crazy to me that people who are so hurt when they're misgendered would join a women's group and criticize women who are hurt after being misgendered.)
And, I learned recently, many have been asked to move at a concert or show because they're "too tall."
This is insane to me.
Can you imagine showing up at a concert AFTER someone else, then demanding that a person who got there BEFORE you (or who paid more for their ticket than you) move so you can have their spot?
Perhaps, if you're male. (Seems male entitlement is quickly becoming a theme of this post.)
Or perhaps if you're a person of either sex and talking to a female.
One tall woman pointed out that none of her tall male friends have ever been asked to move. But she is all the time.
So what's an Amazon goddess to do?
Make like a Floridian and STAND YOUR GROUND.
I've said this so many times, but learning to be assertive is one of the most certain ways to improve your life. Through assertiveness, you can be more independent. You can be more playful. You can travel alone and accept more invitations. You can stop wasting your time on people who are imposing or taking advantage of you.
Will people call you a bitch? Maybe. I'm sure plenty of people call me sexist names behind my back. But I'd rather have someone call me a bitch than let him walk me back to my apartment — then enter my apartment — then keep me from going to bed when I want to — then this, then that. I'd rather have someone call me a psycho because I screamed NO in his face when he wouldn't stop trying to kiss me than accept a nasty, rapey, unwanted kiss. I'd rather someone call me rude than waste one of the ONLY Saturdays I'm going to have this year (there are literally only 52 of them) doing something I don't want to do when I could be surfing.
I'd rather have someone grumble about me behind my back than give up the opportunity to see the freckles in Stevie Nicks' eyes.
Besides, standing there immersing myself in the music, you think I give a shit what anyone else thinks?!
If someone had asked me to move, I'd've told them, "Sorry, but I paid for this seat. If you can't see, ask the usher if he can reseat you."
Because despite the fact that girls and women are socialized to prioritize male feelings over our own feelings, comfort, and safety — no.
I come first.
If you're a woman, this attitude likely doesn't come naturally to you. You will have to actively commit to prioritizing yourself over others. And, if this feels really unnatural to you, you might even have to mentally rehearse how you would like to respond in different circumstances. For example, as I wrote in Women: Instantly Improve Your WHOLE LIFE By Learning This Phrase:
Because you really only have two choices, here:
Learn to prioritize your own feelings and experiences and stop accommodating others.
Or get used to always being in the back.
1/4/2022 05:21:02 am
On a related note. My husband is relatively short for a man, although a little taller than me. He told me recently that woman once told him that she couldn't possibly date him because he was shorter than her.
1/4/2022 11:16:33 am
My experience? I'm never going to pick a long femur over intelligence, compassion, shared interests, and a sense of humor. IDEALLY, I would love to end up with someone taller than me, because that is physically attractive to me. But there's more to love than physical attraction, and the more I get to know someone, the more attractive they become to me. Most of the guys I've dated were within an inch of my height, but I did date a couple of very tall, and even some very short, guys.
1/5/2022 04:14:31 pm
Hello Eva. Good for you. I wish the women I love had your self confidence.
1/16/2022 09:53:24 am
"Vagina" means "sheath," which I think is crass and stupid. A vagina is not a place to store a penis.
1/6/2022 08:39:08 am
Thanks for the reply.
1/16/2022 03:05:07 am
Eva the Heroine! For a while I had the self-aggrandising side hemmed in, but it's gotten out. Spate of recent artciles, where you're the heroine of all your own tall tales.
1/16/2022 09:51:49 am
I mean... yes, I'm amazing. Which I'm sure you know. That's why you're so obsessed with me, no?
1/20/2022 08:51:46 pm
Right said, Amin, though she doesn't seem to recognize that she is mistaking arrogance for confidence.
1/20/2022 10:35:26 pm
LOL. Okay, "Dan."
3/3/2022 09:19:21 pm
See what I mean, Amin? Even when someone tries to apply her own concept of "be vicious to be kind," she still refuses to take accountability for her own obnoxious, repulsive behavior. She doesn't have the self-awareness to understand that being braggadocios is not generally an attractive personality trait, because the person assigning their own adjectives are projecting their own insecurities through self-aggrandizement.
3/4/2022 11:20:21 am
Oh, Danny. Danny, Danny. You silly little guy. Why would I listen to the criticisms of a damaged beta male who finds things like confidence and self-esteem so completely foreign and unrelatable?
3/4/2022 08:44:32 pm
It feels like I'm spoon-feeding your ego at this point. You just remind me of someone my aunt was friends with years ago. There is something about your diction that makes me compare your personality to hers. It's just something I enjoyed from my criminology courses in college.
3/4/2022 08:54:31 pm
Lololol. You're back!! Why are you so obsessed with me? Did you have like a massive unrequited crush on your aunt's friend, and now you're transferring those feelings onto me? Do you think you're in love with me (you're not, my friend -- you don't even know me! But I get it; feelings can be deceptive)? Or do you just have literally nothing else to do but hate read and memorize everything I post on my blog?
4/5/2022 01:29:52 pm
"Why are you so obsessed with me?"
4/12/2022 02:19:28 pm
For not being obsessed with me, you sure do read a lot of my blog posts and write me a lot of novels.
4/26/2022 10:19:11 am
Lol, Dan. Where to even begin.
2/13/2022 07:52:49 am
I think it's a matter of politeness? If a person paid to watch a show and then a person in front of them is so incredibly tall they can't see a thing, I suppose it doesn't hurt to ask. And yes, I've happened to ask to tall men if they could change places with their friends at the cinema, so I didn't have to watch an entire film with his head right in front of everything. Usually they were nice and tried to change places or scoot down a bit in their seat. I did it myself if there were kids behind me, or shorter men. But I suppose that maybe I just caved to the patriarchy and should just feel like an empowered amazon by being rude to someone on purpose? Maybe I did it all wrong.
2/13/2022 08:22:04 am
You... sat down all scrunched in your seat for someone else's comfort? Yup -- sounds like you did it wrong. Did you at least put a heating pad on your back after? Yikes.
4/26/2022 10:22:41 am
As I said to Dan above, I'm 6'4". I don't know which tall guys you or your friends know that have never been asked to move but I've been asked to move or sit down in my seat or wherever for my entire life. It's pretty much expected of me as a very tall man.
5/12/2022 09:33:53 am
@changingthenarrative (Eva's sock-puppet comment)
5/12/2022 11:34:34 am
You better turn down that attitude. You don't know me, Danderson. Real talk.
5/12/2022 12:09:58 pm
5/12/2022 12:19:55 pm
5/13/2022 07:52:30 am
5/13/2022 08:13:36 am
Lol you're the internet tough guy, you swagger jacking, slang biting, no integrity having little beta. If you were actually the tough guy you pretend to be or had any connection whatsoever to the culture you appropriate so often, you'd know you crossed that line towards me multiple times first. But you don't know that because you're clearly a sheltered and enabled little special snowflake from the suburbs.
5/13/2022 06:46:13 am
Haha thank you, Eva. I like to think I know a bit about being a real man, and maybe even a little about being an adult.
11/7/2022 03:31:31 pm
Wow...I made a Google search about tall girl problems, but I got more than what I bargained for, which is the most awkward blog exchange I have ever read.
11/18/2022 09:05:56 pm
I think it's so adorable that y'all are so obsessed with this idea that I called myself an Amazon goddess. Are y'all even reading the article? Are they not teaching reading comprehension anymore?
3/15/2023 08:56:47 pm
I took away, “stick up for yourself “ and it’s a matter of fairness. Good stuff. You handle the wordy folks well, but it’s exhausting to read too much. Keep having fun, I’m enjoying your travels and you’re gigging more too!
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About the Author
Eva is a content specialist with a passion for play, travel... and a little bit of girl power. Read more >
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