Yes, I'm 6 Feet Tall. No, I Won't Move So You Can See Better.

1/3/2022

If I'm in front of you, it's because I got here first — and I'm not going to prioritize your enjoyment over mine. Image: @TheHappyTalent

I'm six feet tall — and my whole life, I thought being tall was the greatest thing ever.

I love towering over others. I love being bigger and stronger than most people. I love the fearlessness and confidence that has allowed me to travel the world alone for literally years (which, of course, is not entirely due to my height; I had to actively develop many of the skills I needed to live this way).

Though I wasn't "old for my age" growing up, I certainly benefitted in many of the ways Malcolm Gladwell discussed in Outliers: The Story of Success. Just like the youth hockey players who got more coaching, feedback, game time, and opportunities due to the fact that they were older than their peers, my height gave me an edge over my peers, leading to more and better opportunities throughout my youth sports career, leading to me becoming an outstanding female athlete.

Given my accomplishments, talents, and life experiences, my physical beauty is probably the least interesting thing about me — but I'd be lying if I said I don't love having legs for days. (#ChooseBeautiful.)

Being tall is awesome.

Image: @EvaViaMusic — where you can also listen to music from my most recent show!

There's only real drawback I've noticed — well, two. One, obviously, is that it's ever-so-slightly less comfortable to sit on a bus or a plane. Boo hoo.

Two, when my nose is stuffy, I feel like everyone can look right up into my boogers, since most people live below my nostrils.

That's it. Everything else, I love.

It didn't even occur to me until a few weeks ago, when a friend invited me to join a Facebook group for tall women (which, by the way, y'all should join MY facebook group for people who like my blog), that I realized some tall women don't absolutely adore being tall.

Some have been bullied for their height. Some have politely rejected men, only for the men to retaliate by calling them trans. (And weirdly, as an aside: this is a topic that comes up semi-regularly in this tall women Facebook group. Obviously these wounded and insecure trolls aren't actually mistaking tall women for trans — it's extremely easy to distinguish between males and females. They're just miserable little losers trying to make themselves feel better by lashing out at others. Unfortunately, their words do hurt many of the women they're aimed at, and when these women come onto the Facebook group seeking support, they're criticized and silenced for "acting like it's a bad thing to be trans." It's crazy to me that people who are so hurt when they're misgendered would join a women's group and criticize women who are hurt after being misgendered.)

And, I learned recently, many have been asked to move at a concert or show because they're "too tall."

This is insane to me.

Can you imagine showing up at a concert AFTER someone else, then demanding that a person who got there BEFORE you (or who paid more for their ticket than you) move so you can have their spot?

Perhaps, if you're male. (Seems male entitlement is quickly becoming a theme of this post.)

Or perhaps if you're a person of either sex and talking to a female.

One tall woman pointed out that none of her tall male friends have ever been asked to move. But she is all the time.

So what's an Amazon goddess to do?

Make like a Floridian and STAND YOUR GROUND.

I've said this so many times, but learning to be assertive is one of the most certain ways to improve your life. Through assertiveness, you can be more independent. You can be more playful. You can travel alone and accept more invitations. You can stop wasting your time on people who are imposing or taking advantage of you.

Will people call you a bitch? Maybe. I'm sure plenty of people call me sexist names behind my back. But I'd rather have someone call me a bitch than let him walk me back to my apartment — then enter my apartment — then keep me from going to bed when I want to — then this, then that. I'd rather have someone call me a psycho because I screamed NO in his face when he wouldn't stop trying to kiss me than accept a nasty, rapey, unwanted kiss. I'd rather someone call me rude than waste one of the ONLY Saturdays I'm going to have this year (there are literally only 52 of them) doing something I don't want to do when I could be surfing.

Image: Yoga and Meditation Didn't Work For You. This Might Be Why.

And.

I'd rather have someone grumble about me behind my back than give up the opportunity to see the freckles in Stevie Nicks' eyes.

Besides, standing there immersing myself in the music, you think I give a shit what anyone else thinks?!

If someone had asked me to move, I'd've told them, "Sorry, but I paid for this seat. If you can't see, ask the usher if he can reseat you."

Because despite the fact that girls and women are socialized to prioritize male feelings over our own feelings, comfort, and safety — no.

I come first.

If you're a woman, this attitude likely doesn't come naturally to you. You will have to actively commit to prioritizing yourself over others. And, if this feels really unnatural to you, you might even have to mentally rehearse how you would like to respond in different circumstances. For example, as I wrote in Women: Instantly Improve Your WHOLE LIFE By Learning This Phrase:

Obviously, it's hard to overcome years of social learning. Which is why it's so, so important for you to mentally rehearse. Learn the phrase -- or modify it to your satisfaction. Decide exactly what you want to say. Then visualize yourself saying it to the next gross-ass pickup artist who comes and puts his arm around you at a party or event.

I'll say it again. Decide exactly what you want to say, then specifically visualize yourself saying it. It's no different from sports psychology. Athletes don't close their eyes and think vaguely about making the game-winning shot. They think about their stance. They think about their free-throw routine. Two bounces. Spin the ball. Thumb on the S in Spalding. Ball over forehead. Wrist over elbow, elbow over knee. Breath. Bend the knees. Shoot. Follow-through. Swish.

"Why are you touching me? You don't even know me."

Or simply,

"Stop touching me."

You could even say something to the effect of,

"Excuse you!"

as you remove his gross-ass arm from your shoulder or back and walk away. Whatever works best for you.
Don't worry about making him feel bad. When I'm put in a situation where some dude I don't know starts touching me, I hope he feels bad when I call him out. Maybe he'll learn something about not touching people who don't want to be touched.

Like not to.

Read more >

Because you really only have two choices, here:

Learn to prioritize your own feelings and experiences and stop accommodating others.

Or get used to always being in the back.

29 Comments

Jadzia

1/4/2022 05:21:02 am

On a related note. My husband is relatively short for a man, although a little taller than me. He told me recently that woman once told him that she couldn't possibly date him because he was shorter than her.

Anyway, that's her loss and my gain but is this a common view amongst tall women? I've noticed that people can be very weird about couples where the woman is taller.

Eva Glasrud link

1/4/2022 11:16:33 am

My experience? I'm never going to pick a long femur over intelligence, compassion, shared interests, and a sense of humor. IDEALLY, I would love to end up with someone taller than me, because that is physically attractive to me. But there's more to love than physical attraction, and the more I get to know someone, the more attractive they become to me. Most of the guys I've dated were within an inch of my height, but I did date a couple of very tall, and even some very short, guys.

If a shorter man approaches me, I always listen, because I know he knows he's got something to offer, and therefore a) isn't intimidated by my height, b) sees no reason why his height should bother me.

Within the group, there are definitely a lot of women who refuse to date shorter guys, and I've seen a couple of threads arguing that it's just as wrong (or right) for a woman to reject a man because he's too short, as it is for a man to reject a woman for being too tall (or fat, or whatever).

There are also women who (and I almost wrote about this, but thought it would come across as mean or snotty, so I didn't) complain about how short girls get all the guys. I don't get offended by short girls dating tall guys, but I do find myself thinking, "Oh no. His poor babies are going to be average-sized -- they'll NEVER play DI basketball!"

There are also a lot of women who are proudly taller than their man. Which goes back to my earlier point. You know a man who's shorter than his girlfriend -- especially if he doesn't mind or LOVES when she wears heels -- is a man who's proud of his girl and knows he's got something to offer.

Zane

1/5/2022 04:14:31 pm

Hello Eva. Good for you. I wish the women I love had your self confidence.

Also in your response to above you call women "girls". I do this too. But you seem like the kind of person who would not. Based on the fact that you don't even like the word "vagina," I would have thought that you wouldn't refer to women as "girls."

Thanks for another interesting and thought provoking post.

1/16/2022 09:53:24 am

"Vagina" means "sheath," which I think is crass and stupid. A vagina is not a place to store a penis.

There's nothing dirty about the words "woman" or "girl," though, no matter what "progressives" would have you think.

1/6/2022 08:39:08 am

Thanks for the reply.

Amin Riadh

1/16/2022 03:05:07 am

Eva the Heroine! For a while I had the self-aggrandising side hemmed in, but it's gotten out. Spate of recent artciles, where you're the heroine of all your own tall tales.

If a man wrote such blog posts...

1/16/2022 09:51:49 am

I mean... yes, I'm amazing. Which I'm sure you know. That's why you're so obsessed with me, no?

I laughed out loud at the fact that you think your behavior has any effect whatsoever on me. I laughed... but I'm also a little concerned. Delusions of grandeur, much?

Have a nice day :)

Dan

1/20/2022 08:51:46 pm

Right said, Amin, though she doesn't seem to recognize that she is mistaking arrogance for confidence.

I am 6'3,'' with a strong build. However, unlike this self-styled "Amazon Goddess," I would never aggrandize myself on a public forum as a "Greek God," because most people who carry themselves with a modicum of grace and maturity don't make such douche moves. But this is Eva we're talking about, so irony is lost on her.

I have put a lot of work into my body the past year, and I have received compliments from both men and women at work and in my private time. And, also unlike Eva, I don't go posting piss-pants tantrums about how "creepy" such benign compliments are, because again, douche move.

People who take offense to being admired for their physical features while ginning up their own said features are worthy of APA scholarship.

1/20/2022 10:35:26 pm

LOL. Okay, "Dan."

You are clearly cripplingly insecure and don't understand what confidence feels like. I pity you. It's not a "douche move" to know you are beautiful. Which you'd know if you knew what it's like to be beautiful. You don't -- instead, you have hissy fits.

Keep working on your body. Sounds like it's all you've got going for you. :)

3/3/2022 09:19:21 pm

See what I mean, Amin? Even when someone tries to apply her own concept of "be vicious to be kind," she still refuses to take accountability for her own obnoxious, repulsive behavior. She doesn't have the self-awareness to understand that being braggadocios is not generally an attractive personality trait, because the person assigning their own adjectives are projecting their own insecurities through self-aggrandizement.

Nice people need not announce that they are "nice." Smart people need not inform others that they are "smart." Accomplished people need not tell others "all of my accomplishments." And beautiful people need not insist that they are "beautiful."

"Confident" people don't need to verbalize their own attributes and post cringey hey-look-at-me photos of themselves. Vanity is not an attractive behavior, it's an insecure behavior.

Of course, it doesn't help that smarmy guys like "Zane" ingratiate for her attention. But when they get it, they never stay. But it could never possibly be her.

Eva, my body isn't the only thing I have going for me. Save your pity for your stalkers who have nothing better to do with their lives but waste it on you.

3/4/2022 11:20:21 am

Oh, Danny. Danny, Danny. You silly little guy. Why would I listen to the criticisms of a damaged beta male who finds things like confidence and self-esteem so completely foreign and unrelatable?

Your jealousy and woundedness (and, for that matter, lack of reading comprehension skills) aren't going to affect me or my behavior.

I will say, though, that you gave me a genuine chuckle when you criticized Zane for regularly reading my blog, when you're my most obsessive and stalkerish reader of all. Talk about self-awareness!!

Thanks for the laugh, and have a good one, buddy :)

3/4/2022 08:44:32 pm

It feels like I'm spoon-feeding your ego at this point. You just remind me of someone my aunt was friends with years ago. There is something about your diction that makes me compare your personality to hers. It's just something I enjoyed from my criminology courses in college.

From paying yourself cringey compliments, to telling people you "kind of hate" them if they "one-up" you, to thinking every other guy is obsessed with you, yes, you're both the same kind of person. Eventually, my aunt, and all of their mutual friends, ditched her. They got bored with spoon-feeding her ego, too.

I never meant to change your behavior. I cannot change someone else's complex.

If you went to see the Northern Lights, then, yes, I would be jealous. But seriously, though, you should go see them. Everyone deserves to see something that beautiful.

I'm sorry if anyone hurt you.

3/4/2022 08:54:31 pm

Lololol. You're back!! Why are you so obsessed with me? Did you have like a massive unrequited crush on your aunt's friend, and now you're transferring those feelings onto me? Do you think you're in love with me (you're not, my friend -- you don't even know me! But I get it; feelings can be deceptive)? Or do you just have literally nothing else to do but hate read and memorize everything I post on my blog?

Honestly, it doesn't make one shred of difference to me one way or another. Your repeat visits and comments are great for my SEO, so keep at it! Maybe one of these days you'll actually learn something. :)

For example, that I have seen the Northern Lights (among many, many other natural wonders -- I travel full-time, so of COURSE I've seen a lot, from the thresher sharks to the blue flame volcano to hornbills to so much else! It's an incredible world, and I hope someday you get to see some of it!). 🤣🤣🤣

4/5/2022 01:29:52 pm

"Why are you so obsessed with me?"

I'm not "obsessed," just perplexed by your weird, acerbic, grandiose personality. In truth, a guy I knew in college asked a passerby where a specific building was on campus. She could have behaved like a normal, civilized human being and said, "Oh, sorry, I don't know," and walked away. Instead, she lashed out at him like a paranoid weirdo and said, "No, you don't have the right to approach me as if I'm obligated to give you my time!"

I searched online to see who shares in this antisocial attitude and why, and your site came up. Many of the things that you have said draw a parallel between you and that little curmudgeon my friend had the misfortune to encounter, like comparing a Christmas song to rape culture. I still think you need serious, professional help to cope with whatever horrible experiences you suffered.

"Did you have a massive, unrequited crush on your aunt's friend…"

SMH. No, she was several years older than me, and even at such a young age, I was repulsed by her obnoxious, brazen behavior. You do not listen.

"Why would I listen to the criticisms of a 'damaged beta male'…"

Speaking of my aunt, she and I had a conversation over dinner recently and the subject of moving on from toxic people came about. I told her about how you publicly announce how "attractive" you are, and how her former friend used to do the same thing. She agreed that you are cringey and that going around telling people that you are attractive is not attractive, it's repulsive. And before you go dismissing her as some insecure "beta," you should know that she is a very successful oncology pharmaceuticals specialist, owns her own fine home with two classic Mustangs in the garage, and is well traveled. The difference between the two of you is that she does not rely on her family to finance her travels.

"…that I have seen the Northern Lights…"

I told you that out of pity, you nimrod. Despite your own personality flaws, you always find a way to criticize and reject others for theirs. It's self-contradictory and hypocritical, which is why I suspect that your past relationships failed. That repulsive mentality of obstinate superiority is not going to sustain any relationship, let alone a relationship with a life partner that would be exponentially more enjoyable to see something beautiful like the Northern Lights with than your dog.

On second thought, maybe you can rely on your physical "attractiveness" instead of your personality to keep a guy around. Find a guy like Zane—a gimp, smarmy bobblehead who will agree with everything that you say in fear of not offending an "Amazonian goddess." An impressionable, eager-to-please guy like him can be like a lump of clay; you can mold him into any shape and form you want. As "amazing" as you and "Amazing Amy" from Gone Girl are, you can "forge the man of your dreams," just like she did.

There is no point in conversing with you any longer. It's just an unpleasant experience altogether. My only hope is that you don't reproduce. Why would any child benefit from learning repulsive behavior and using full-time travel as escapism in lieu of enjoying a relationship with a human being that is capable of conducting themselves with a sense of humbleness and willingness to compromise?

4/12/2022 02:19:28 pm

For not being obsessed with me, you sure do read a lot of my blog posts and write me a lot of novels.

I only had the time to skim your most recent novel, but yes, you're obviously very obsessed with me. Do you think I go around talking to my mom's friends or whatever about you? LOL -- nope!

Just because someone owns a couple of cars doesn't mean they're successful. That's a weird and very shallow metric for success. You should BOTH check out this article -- it might help you be more happy and less miserable:

http://www.thehappytalent.com/blog/money-does-buy-happiness-if-you-know-how-to-spend-it

I am obviously attractive, and anyone who is not blind can see this. It's not a secret people are unaware of, and giving objective measures of attributes or accomplishments is often important to provide context for a story. It's relevant that I'm better than 90% of the men I play basketball with if I'm telling a story about gender and basketball. It's relevant that I am very beautiful when giving dating advice or talking about various travel or social experiences.

I am also on a mission to help end false modesty an encourage women to OWN their beauty, contributions, and accomplishments. You'd already know this if you had reading comprehension skills instead of out of control emotions.

Pre-pandemic, I traveled solo around the world 3-4 months a year. Now that everything's online, I travel solo around the country full-time. Friends, family, and partners join me when they can, but most people have not been strategic enough to build a lifestyle like mine. Lucky for me, I don't need other people to validate me or my experiences. I'm too good at immersing myself completely in the moment to worry about who is or isn't there. I look forward to loved ones' visits, but I've never let other people's schedules stop me from doing what I want to do. Plus, with internet and cell phones, it's easier to stay in touch than ever. Part of the reason I've never been lonely is because I meet so many new, amazing people every day. The other part is because I talk to the people I love almost every day. People with strong relationships don't get lonely.

It's very adorable you think my mommy pays for my travel. I know I look incredible -- both generally and specifically for my age -- but I didn't realize I literally look 16. I may look like. teenager, but I'm an actual adult, you sillypants!

I do hope you'll reread some of my past advice to you. You're obviously obsessive, and there's nothing I can do about that, and you're obviously unable to control your emotions around people with confidence, because confidence is something you completely lack. Check out some of the past links and advice I've sent you. I hope something helps.

changingthenarrative

4/26/2022 10:19:11 am

Lol, Dan. Where to even begin.

Well first of all, I'm 6'4" so not impressed with your being 6'3". Nor am I impressed with your "working on your body" as that's a very basic thing that pretty much anyone can and should do to get and/or stay healthy. I've also got a strong build and am thus not impressed by yours.

I also love how you oh so subtly referenced your college education, as if that's impressive. The only criminology majors that impress me for the most part are the cops who take those classes to better understand their chosen career and advance in their profession. Most criminology is just social sciences repackaged as crime fighting solutions. Plenty of theories backed by very little actual life experience.

I echo Eva's sentiment that it's really odd that you not only discuss her with your aunt but mention that to her. Funny how it's always people who are obsessed with you who will claim they aren't obsessed with you while going around being obsessed with you. I don't get why you care so much, to be honest. She's a lifestyle blogger and life coach. She's not going around trying to tell everybody how they have to live and forcing things on anybody, which sadly is very rare these days. She's not doing anything personally to you. Then again I'm not the type to obsess over and basically online stalk somebody I don't like so what do I know? Where I'm from we confront a person, handle the situation, and move on. Life's too short to waste it being a hater let alone an internet stalker.

I also love how you don't seem to grasp that the whole reason she posts "cringe-y" pics of herself and mentions her accomplishments and verbalizes her attributes is because she's promoting her brand and her blog, and those links are often to advice pieces she posted. Her advice is actually pretty good and is clearly written from her own perspective and point of view, so again why do you even care?

I highly doubt Eva would react that way if somebody asked her where a building was. If you seriously can't see the difference between defending your own space and right to not be touched/being assertive and being an insane buzzword spewing overprivileged leftist college student then maybe you need way more life experience and less criminology classes.

I also like how it never occurred to you that Eva could simply revisit those places with her significant other in the future if she wanted to. Why should she wait to experience things if she can do so now, and why not do so as a solo woman who can fully experience a place on her own -or yes with her dog-? And again, why do you even care? It's her life. She has every right to live it however she pleases as long as she isn't hurting anyone.

I can't speak for Zane but I can pretty much guarantee I'm more of a man and an independently-minded one than you (definitely have more class and grace or whatever other bullshit you wanna talk about than you) and have never had any problem disagreeing with anybody and expressing it. There's a huge difference between being a sycophant and simply not being a creepy, obsessive hater.

Mary

2/13/2022 07:52:49 am

I think it's a matter of politeness? If a person paid to watch a show and then a person in front of them is so incredibly tall they can't see a thing, I suppose it doesn't hurt to ask. And yes, I've happened to ask to tall men if they could change places with their friends at the cinema, so I didn't have to watch an entire film with his head right in front of everything. Usually they were nice and tried to change places or scoot down a bit in their seat. I did it myself if there were kids behind me, or shorter men. But I suppose that maybe I just caved to the patriarchy and should just feel like an empowered amazon by being rude to someone on purpose? Maybe I did it all wrong.

2/13/2022 08:22:04 am

You... sat down all scrunched in your seat for someone else's comfort? Yup -- sounds like you did it wrong. Did you at least put a heating pad on your back after? Yikes.

4/26/2022 10:22:41 am

As I said to Dan above, I'm 6'4". I don't know which tall guys you or your friends know that have never been asked to move but I've been asked to move or sit down in my seat or wherever for my entire life. It's pretty much expected of me as a very tall man.

5/12/2022 09:33:53 am

@changingthenarrative (Eva's sock-puppet comment)

I said what I said, kiddo. Eva talks at people as if her advice is the gold standard for best practices, and she vehemently insists that others follow it. For the sake of critical thinking and accounting for varying perspectives, I put her attitude, credibility, and viewpoints to the test and asked people I know and trust what they thought. These people of differing ages, races, genders and occupations all said the same things about her and her red-flag statements.

The consensus was that calling oneself an "Amazonian Goddess," is obnoxious, cringey, unattractive, and a desperate attempt to validate her attractiveness to herself and others (which is a hideously insecure character trait). Most of them asked, "What asshole calls themselves that and constantly has to tell people that they are physically attractive? I've never heard someone go so far as to say that they are an Amazonian Goddess." Others simply showed a nauseated facial expression and said, "She sounds like a douche…if I were a guy, I would never date a narcissist like her."

"I also like how it never occurred to you that Eva could simply revisit those places with her significant other in the future if she wanted to. Why should she wait to experience things if she can do so now, and why not do so as a solo woman who can fully experience a place on her own -or yes with her dog-? And again, why do you even care? It's her life. She has every right to live it however she pleases as long as she isn't hurting anyone."

It did occur to me, meatball. Which makes me wonder why a self-proclaimed "amazing" woman cannot attract and keep a guy to experience those things now. My suspicions were confirmed by the reactions of the aforementioned people: because she is an obnoxious douche. And, yes, I'm sure she has both men and women who give her attention and company because the perceived halo effect has a significant influence on so many fuccbois, such as yourself. But after the effect wears off, these guys either fall out of favor, or move on to a more tolerable person to be around. All of the amazing women that I have met have long-term partners. The women who have Eva's personality are the ones who cannot keep men around and do not take accountability for their repulsive behavior by using half-baked, narcissitic rationale like "ending false modesty," to justify such behavior.

If you had two braincells to rub together, you would realize that her content has the potential to hurt others who read it.

But don't just take my word for it, friendo. If you're not already spoken for, why don't you and Eva hookup and you can find out for yourself how amazing she is and what all the other would-be suitors missed out on? Just picture it, you and her out in the middle of BFE, away from all these detracting "insecure betas," and singing cringey songs about how god-like and amazing you both are.

Be very careful, though. If you say something she doesn't like, it will make her "kind of hate you," like the guy she went diving with who suggested a great place to see lots of manatees, but she irrationally mistook it for one-upping her. I told people about that, too, and they said, "Ugh, she's an asshole. You don't treat people that way. She had no reason to say that to him."

"I can't speak for Zane but I can pretty much guarantee I'm more of a man and an independently-minded one than you (definitely have more class and grace or whatever other bullshit you wanna talk about than you) and have never had any problem disagreeing with anybody and expressing it. There's a huge difference between being a sycophant and simply not being a creepy, obsessive hater."

If by "more of a man and independently-minded," you mean swooping in like a thirsty gimp and sophomorically defending the douchey behavior of a woman as if she were beyond reproach, then the only thing you can guarantee is that you would gladly bend your 6'4" frame to kiss her ass. Why don't you dig your balls out of your purse, and understand that she would throw you under the bus and throw it in reverse to satisfy her own ego?

My "obsessive" behavior is such that other readers understand that her behavior, like what she displayed in "Sometimes, Vicious is the Kindest Thing You Can Be" is wildly extreme, inappropriate, uncouth, and unattractive; as confirmed by the people I spoke with.

You two muppets seem like you share the same brain. Independently-minded man, indeed!

@Eva,

My aunt's success is not measured by cars, nor material possessions, but her vast work helping cancer patients, an accomplishment that you will never have the intelligence, selflessness, and work-ethic to achieve. You can think about that the next time you want to write an article bloviating about how other people annoy you and writing cringey songs most people will never hear.

And I am not taking my advice from someone who does not have the emotional intellig

5/12/2022 11:34:34 am

You better turn down that attitude. You don't know me, Danderson. Real talk.

Lol the fact that you don't see how cringey and weird it is for you to constantly talk about Eva to everyone you know is just hilarious to me. They're gonna start avoiding you if they haven't already just to stop hearing about this woman on the internet you're obsessing over.

Lol did you fr just spell it with the Crip two cs style? And then you called me a fuckboi? Dude I've literally KNOWN Crips, you tryhard. And calling me meatball and fuckboi and everything after your lil yappy self went out of your way to grandstand with that "kiddo" stuff. You just commit one logical fallacy after another in a desperate attempt to show how intelligent and educated and masculine you are.

Man you really love to talk that talk! You ain't about a damn thing but talking though, junior. I'll gladly bend YOU over in front of your friends and show them how much of a beta male tryhard you are then laugh at you and walk out so as not to spend any more time around anybody who thinks a completely fake little dickhead narcissist like you is worth knowing.

Haha you're still so stuck in high school mode that you have to make it about hooking up. Dude just get over her and move on already. You're not trying to help anybody. You're just acting like an incel and a really really really sad little hater.

Lol muppet? So on top of biting all kinds of hood slang that unlike you I actually GREW UP WITH, you bite British slang too? You're peak tryhard.

It really doesn't occur to you that normal, not obsessed people see your behavior as what it is and think you're a creepy loser. You need everybody disagreeing with you to be some simp who wants Eva to Domme him or something, and you don't even see how misogynistic and disrespectful it is to her to talk that way, as if that's all she's good for or she should be expected to do anything with anybody ever rather than being a fully independent adult with rights. You're over and over showing how much of a very insecure little beta you clearly are. All this shit is not a man. Men respect women, not stalk an obscure blog to spew vitriol at them.

5/12/2022 12:09:58 pm

Dan,

Why are you so obsessed with me? Changingthenarrative is right -- it's weird that you don't realize how unhealthy it is that you talk to all your friends and family and family friends about me.

Also, what makes you so sure that I don't have a romantic partner who drives or flies out to see me every weekend he can? You're a sillypants :) Not to mention the friends I've traveled with for days or weeks at a time when they are able. I'm not sure why you think all my friends are able to work remotely 100% of the time. I am, because I strategically built this life for myself. But a lot of people just can't have that kind of flexibility in their chosen careers.

Chances are, I won't revisit most of the amazing places I've been. The world is SO big. There are very few places I'd revisit over seeing somewhere new. The fact remains: I'm going to experience more of the world than almost everyone I know -- than almost everyone, period. This is the life I actively, intentionally created for myself, and every day feels like a magical, perfect dream.

Thank you for listening to my music. Music is a hobby for me, not a dream, but I appreciate every stream I get. Have you checked out my latest single yet?

https://open.spotify.com/track/4S6ivKILUhXQnUf5G0aTBj

If you would, please send it along to all your friends, family, and family friends with whom you obsessively discuss me. :)

YOU are the one who defined your aunt's success by her having two of the car I almost bought out of undergrad. It's nice she works with cancer patients. You are right: I will never help cancer patients, because that's not what my job is. I do, however, help thousands of gifted teenagers, marginalized women, socially awkward men, and others who experience psychological or social distress every single month. Blogging is a very meaningful experience -- I just wish I had more time to do it during full-time travel.

5/12/2022 12:19:55 pm

Hi, Changingthenarrative,

The bizarre, obsessive hate-readers are just part of the deal when it comes to blogging, I guess. Sometimes, they go away. Sometimes, they last for years. But, as I wrote in When a Few Angry People Bully You Online, Your Email List Grows Exponentially (http://www.thehappytalent.com/blog/when-a-few-angry-people-bully-you-online-your-email-list-grows-exponentially), hate-readers can be great for your SEO. :)

> "They're gonna start avoiding you if they haven't already just to stop hearing about this woman on the internet you're obsessing over."

Literally LOLed. It's so true! They're probably so tired of hearing about me.

> "Haha you're still so stuck in high school mode that you have to make it about hooking up."

It's a lovely demonstration of his small mind.

I've really enjoyed reading your comments, and think you did an excellent job explaining manhood and manliness to the wounded little boy in question, here.

5/13/2022 07:52:30 am

@changingthenarrative

You're threatening to tune me up? Do what you gotta do. And you don't know me. I don't scare easy. If you're so deadset on not letting a "beta" talk down to you that you are willing to try to put your hands on me, you'll need to do more than "bend me over." Trust.

This is not about misogyny, incels, alphas, betas, etc.. It's about double standards and hypocrisy. No one should take advice from someone who doesn't have the self-awareness to recognize her own obnoxious behavior while criticizing others for theirs. I'm not the only one to call her out on it, dude. My friends and family talk about all sorts of random stuff from random sources, including Eva's. Don't worry about who I speak with about Eva, that's my business. She put her opinions on public domain for the world to read in hopes of following suit, but her attitude has all sorts of red flags. Hopefully, people won't, as verified by the people I spoke with. That isn't "misogyny," it's critical thinking.

This has gotten too bizarre. An internet tough guy who is sticking his neck out for a woman who dishes out advice on how to be confident, but doesn't realize she is being arrogant to others. Why would anyone want to be around that?

5/13/2022 08:13:36 am

Lol you're the internet tough guy, you swagger jacking, slang biting, no integrity having little beta. If you were actually the tough guy you pretend to be or had any connection whatsoever to the culture you appropriate so often, you'd know you crossed that line towards me multiple times first. But you don't know that because you're clearly a sheltered and enabled little special snowflake from the suburbs.

I didn't threaten you once, and there's nothing internet tough guy about me. Trust. Keep exposing how much of a fraud you are by not knowing the difference between a threat and responding in kind to aggressive and disrespectful energy though. The only people who play victim like that are people who have been sheltered from consequences their whole lives.

I don't know a single person who would tolerate somebody constantly talking about some random ass female blogger on the internet. Either you're lying (the most likely possibility) or everybody in your life is vapid and insufferable and clearly not mentally or emotionally healthy. Either way I don't care. Really odd to say something is solely your business after you put your business in the street like you have in your obsessive comments on this blog though.

I love how you didn't address my calling out your using the two cs without even knowing what it means or where it comes from. Shows me that you clearly didn't know and are just another lame ass whitebread dude peppering everything he says with bits of stolen slang for image purposes.

As for why I "stuck my neck out for Eva"? Well for starters, it's just too much fun to rip you to shreds after you puff your chest out at people and try to come for others. Second, it's because a real man confronts a bully and a male who is disrespecting a woman and calls out his behavior.

You also made the mistake of disrespecting my manhood and making me out to be a brainless little simp. That left me no choice but to put you in your place and destroy every weak argument you attempted to make while mercilessly clowning you.

5/13/2022 06:46:13 am

Haha thank you, Eva. I like to think I know a bit about being a real man, and maybe even a little about being an adult.

You're probably right about obsessive hate-readers being good for business but man what a sad way for them to live! All that hate inside them is physically toxic, and they just consume more and more of it each time they read your blog.

I've dealt with my share of haters, and yeah they sure do bring you more exposure and attention!

Ximenez

11/7/2022 03:31:31 pm

Wow...I made a Google search about tall girl problems, but I got more than what I bargained for, which is the most awkward blog exchange I have ever read.

There is enough subject matter to go around, but I have to start with you Dan. If you're still visiting this blog, I hope you know that what I am about to tell you is coming from a good place. I've worked in the mental health field, and it is obvious from the language you have used that you are not in a good place. Emotionally balanced people do not go on blogs and vent their anger. This is what Eva trying to convey to you when she tells you that your behavior is creepy, and yes, your behavior is creepy and obsessive. Creepy behavior can be described as hostile, unpredictable and unwelcoming.

Why you are airing your feelings towards her this way when she has no bearing on your life is deeply concerning, as this does not help you in any way. If she reminds you of people from your past, then you need to deal with your past traumas in a healthy, productive way. Your confrontational approach to people who remind you of those people on the internet only serves to manifest whatever anger still lingers. Go touch grass, as they say. Learn new skills, find new hobbies, become more physically active, indulge in the arts, expand your intellect by reading, meet new people by volunteering. Find positive stimulation wherever it can be found. Whatever you do, enough with the obsessive behavior. Women have to deal with this on a frequent basis, and we've had enough.

Eva, Dan's behavior is creepy and inappropriate, but he is not wrong though. As a 6'2'' Afro-Latina who played college basketball and had to grow up holding my own in masculine spaces, I still wouldn't go around telling people I'm an Amazonian Goddess. That's just...just...yeah. I date men and women, but to say that anyone who isn't blind can see that you are attractive is a reach. I can see perfect, and while you look like you have an active lifestyle and shower on the reg, issa no for me sis.

You come off as a contrarian. You're quick to tell people that they are insecure, and yet you cannot seem to handle anyone thinking that you are unattractive. This has nothing to do with being contextual in your writing, be honest. It's okay, Eva, not everyone is going to find you attractive. Whatever your reasons, you still have a good blog going.

Changingthenarrative, you sound like you come from an underprivileged upbringing, so I will hold back a bit. I don't think Dan was trying to impress anyone when he said that he works out, he was trying to say that it isn't necessary to tell on yourself by saying that you are an Amazonian Goddess and other things like that. Jumping in and proclaiming that you're a real man and using words like "beta" and all these stupid, macho social proof words is telling on yourself boo boo. Stop watching Andrew Tate, you just sound ignorant.

I'm a social worker, and I frequently work with criminologists to serve under-privileged communities, like the one you were raised in. Criminologists don't just mindlessly sit in their university offices and come up with random theories, they manage and analyze data from criminal justice statistics in their respective jurisdictions through the use of statistical analysis methodologies and data-modeling platforms that can very accurately predict trends. These trends are, in fact, based off of actual life experience. Criminologists use this data to collaborate with federal, state, and local governments to actively resolve social issues by initiating programs like juvenile divergency, work release, drug rehabilitation, and other non-imprisonment measures that keep families together and curb recidivism. The veterans rehabilitation program in many states was, in part, created with the help of criminologists. Of course, you would know that if you had actual life experience, instead of slinging mud with people on a keyboard.

I did not appreciate you degrading my colleagues like that. The next time you want to act like a sophist just to insult someone you're arguing with, it would be best if you actually know what you're talking about. If not, be quiet.

11/18/2022 09:05:56 pm

I think it's so adorable that y'all are so obsessed with this idea that I called myself an Amazon goddess. Are y'all even reading the article? Are they not teaching reading comprehension anymore?

Does your butt get hurt when people use phrases like "short king" and "black girl magic," too? For a self-proclaimed tall girl, you sure don't seem to have spent much time around tall girls.

I honestly don't know who Andrew Tate is. From context, I'd guess some Jordan Peterson type. I dunno. You're the second person I've heard mention him this week so I guess he's having a moment.

Broken beta males are very much a thing, fwiw. Their little penises fall off sometimes, like when they see a woman who is doing something interesting or listen to a song about male violence against women.

It's cute you're going to pretend I'm not gorgeous. I'm not everyone's type -- some people like their women soft like jello, and that's totally fine. Something for everyone, right? It's also very flattering that you think I shower regularly, unless every week or three is "regular" to you! :P

Chris Vasquez

3/15/2023 08:56:47 pm

I took away, “stick up for yourself “ and it’s a matter of fairness. Good stuff. You handle the wordy folks well, but it’s exhausting to read too much. Keep having fun, I’m enjoying your travels and you’re gigging more too!

Yes, I'm 6 Feet Tall. No, I Won't Move So You Can See Better.

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