If I'm in front of you, it's because I got here first — and I'm not going to prioritize your enjoyment over mine. Image: @TheHappyTalent
I'm six feet tall — and my whole life, I thought being tall was the greatest thing ever.
I love towering over others. I love being bigger and stronger than most people. I love the fearlessness and confidence that has allowed me to travel the world alone for literally years (which, of course, is not entirely due to my height; I had to actively develop many of the skills I needed to live this way).
Though I wasn't "old for my age" growing up, I certainly benefitted in many of the ways Malcolm Gladwell discussed in Outliers: The Story of Success. Just like the youth hockey players who got more coaching, feedback, game time, and opportunities due to the fact that they were older than their peers, my height gave me an edge over my peers, leading to more and better opportunities throughout my youth sports career, leading to me becoming an outstanding female athlete.
Given my accomplishments, talents, and life experiences, my physical beauty is probably the least interesting thing about me — but I'd be lying if I said I don't love having legs for days. (#ChooseBeautiful.)
Being tall is awesome.
Image: @EvaViaMusic — where you can also listen to music from my most recent show!
There's only real drawback I've noticed — well, two. One, obviously, is that it's ever-so-slightly less comfortable to sit on a bus or a plane. Boo hoo.
Two, when my nose is stuffy, I feel like everyone can look right up into my boogers, since most people live below my nostrils.
That's it. Everything else, I love.
It didn't even occur to me until a few weeks ago, when a friend invited me to join a Facebook group for tall women (which, by the way, y'all should join MY facebook group for people who like my blog), that I realized some tall women don't absolutely adore being tall.
Some have been bullied for their height. Some have politely rejected men, only for the men to retaliate by calling them trans. (And weirdly, as an aside: this is a topic that comes up semi-regularly in this tall women Facebook group. Obviously these wounded and insecure trolls aren't actually mistaking tall women for trans — it's extremely easy to distinguish between males and females. They're just miserable little losers trying to make themselves feel better by lashing out at others. Unfortunately, their words do hurt many of the women they're aimed at, and when these women come onto the Facebook group seeking support, they're criticized and silenced for "acting like it's a bad thing to be trans." It's crazy to me that people who are so hurt when they're misgendered would join a women's group and criticize women who are hurt after being misgendered.)
And, I learned recently, many have been asked to move at a concert or show because they're "too tall."
This is insane to me.
Can you imagine showing up at a concert AFTER someone else, then demanding that a person who got there BEFORE you (or who paid more for their ticket than you) move so you can have their spot?
Perhaps, if you're male. (Seems male entitlement is quickly becoming a theme of this post.)
Or perhaps if you're a person of either sex and talking to a female.
One tall woman pointed out that none of her tall male friends have ever been asked to move. But she is all the time.
So what's an Amazon goddess to do?
Make like a Floridian and STAND YOUR GROUND.
I've said this so many times, but learning to be assertive is one of the most certain ways to improve your life. Through assertiveness, you can be more independent. You can be more playful. You can travel alone and accept more invitations. You can stop wasting your time on people who are imposing or taking advantage of you.
Will people call you a bitch? Maybe. I'm sure plenty of people call me sexist names behind my back. But I'd rather have someone call me a bitch than let him walk me back to my apartment — then enter my apartment — then keep me from going to bed when I want to — then this, then that. I'd rather have someone call me a psycho because I screamed NO in his face when he wouldn't stop trying to kiss me than accept a nasty, rapey, unwanted kiss. I'd rather someone call me rude than waste one of the ONLY Saturdays I'm going to have this year (there are literally only 52 of them) doing something I don't want to do when I could be surfing.
I'd rather have someone grumble about me behind my back than give up the opportunity to see the freckles in Stevie Nicks' eyes.
Besides, standing there immersing myself in the music, you think I give a shit what anyone else thinks?!
If someone had asked me to move, I'd've told them, "Sorry, but I paid for this seat. If you can't see, ask the usher if he can reseat you."
Because despite the fact that girls and women are socialized to prioritize male feelings over our own feelings, comfort, and safety — no.
I come first.
If you're a woman, this attitude likely doesn't come naturally to you. You will have to actively commit to prioritizing yourself over others. And, if this feels really unnatural to you, you might even have to mentally rehearse how you would like to respond in different circumstances. For example, as I wrote in Women: Instantly Improve Your WHOLE LIFE By Learning This Phrase:
Because you really only have two choices, here:
Learn to prioritize your own feelings and experiences and stop accommodating others.
Or get used to always being in the back.
About the Author
Eva is a content specialist with a passion for play, travel... and a little bit of girl power. Read more >
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