Everyday Feminism Just Posted The WORST Advice EVER For Women, POC and Other Marginalized Folks.5/16/2016
There is no denying that moderate, fact-based feminism is important -- and there's no denying that all kinds of disadvantaged folks out there deserve to be empowered. And, to me, that is what feminism is about: empowerment.
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A few months ago, I wrote Intersectionality is the OPPOSITE of Feminism. In it, I gave several examples of causes that are unrelated to feminism taking precedence over actual women's issues -- all in the name of "intersectionality."
One of the main criticisms I've received about the article is that I don't understand intersectionality. The thing is, I do. To me, there's intersectional feminism -- a good thing -- and there's "intersectional" feminism -- a bad thing.
Any given bookstore in the world is bound to have a self-help section. Along with books about weight loss and parenting, you're bound to see at least a dozen books about how to improve your self-esteem.
Although I previously wrote that there is no benefit to having high self-esteem, the fact remains that people still want to feel good about themselves. Psychologists have discovered four main ways that people manage to do that.
Julia Baird, a politics, history and social policy columnist for the New York Times, made waves with her most recent piece, How to Explain Mansplaining. She cited some good research about how men are rewarded for speaking a lot ("he's confident! he's a leader!"), and women are punished ("she's too aggressive."). She discussed how men use direct language and women use "hedging language," or words that are meant to soften your ideas ("kind of," "might, maybe," "don't you think?"). She even mentioned research about how movies, even movies starring women, usually give women very few lines relative to men.
We all know one: a new age hippie type who’s always reading Eckhardt Tolle and “working on themselves” and committing the gravest (or at least most condescending) of crimes against humanity: giving unsolicited advice.
As I recently wrote in YourTango, people LOVE policing women's language and monitoring their tone.
From telling us not to use rising terminations (you know, when your sentences all kind of go up at the end? Like a question?) to telling us not to use hedging language (words that soften what you're saying to make you seem "nicer" and more "likable," instead of "angry" and "bitchy" — for example, "Maybe it's just me, and this is just an idea, but do you think maybe we should try ____?"), the internet is full of advice on how women "should" speak.
Personally, I think it's more important to listen to what women are saying than how they're saying it. Though there are some specific behaviors I think the average women could improve upon. For example:
Looking for a Dream Job? Netflix Will Pay You $2,000/Week to Travel and Post Photos on Instagram3/2/2016
The Netflix Grammasters are back! Netflix and Instagram are teaming up to hire what they call "Grammasters," or proven Instagram wizards who will travel to Europe and the Middle East to photograph the sets of Netflix original shows and movies.
Here's how to apply:
Half of America's top graduates do one of the same six jobs after graduation. Indeed, over half of the nation's best and brightest go to medical school, law school, or graduate school -- or they go into consulting, finance... or Teach for America (~2%), a program I'm not totally on-board with.
After hearing it come up for the millionth time today in conversation, I finally read your letter. Plenty of people have rushed to defend you. Plenty more have said some ugly things to and about you.
I'm not here to say you're right or wrong. I know being an adult is super hard -- believe me! I know the Bay Area is extremely, stupidly expensive -- I live here, too, and I'm secretly afraid that someday, I won't be able to afford it anymore. Nevertheless, I'm going to go ahead and commit one of the biggest sins known to man: offering my unsolicited advice. Do what you want with it.
Today I learned that Eve Ensler's The Vagina Monologues, a play that was all progressive and feminist and liberating just a few years ago... is now taboo, because it is "not inclusive" enough of women who don't have vaginas.
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Eva is a content specialist with a passion for play, travel... and a little bit of girl power. Read more >
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