There's been some recent confusion about a post I wrote last fall. In What Men Don't Understand When They Complain, "It's Only Creepy If The Guy Isn't Hot," I made the very accurate and straightforward statement that flirting is only fun when it's reciprocated. Yes, I acknowledged, attractiveness does affect the likelihood of your flirting being reciprocated, and that sucks for people who are not attractive. 

But continuing to hit on someone who isn't interested is a good way to be labeled creepy, and there are better ways to actually find love. 

As I've mentioned in several recent posts, I've been traveling around Southeast Asia the last few months -- and one of my favorite things about travel is exploring cultural differences. 

One that keeps popping up this year... is sex. Specifically, sex taboos. 

I screamed so loud, it echoed off the bricks and parking structures around us.

Fun fact: as a blogger, I get people pitching guest posts to me basically every day. I basically always say no. But once in a while, someone says something so brilliant, I've got to say yes. Among these: How to Be Happy, Even When You're Programmed Not To Be; 6 Reasons It's Not COMPLETELY Awful to Date A Guy Who Lives With His Parents; and If You Care About Women's Rights, Stop Saying Islam is a Religion of Peace. 

Today, my friend Claire* told me a story I thought was worth sharing -- so we did a co-write of her experience with a "good friend" the other night.

The difference is consent.

It's Christmas -- so let the "annual debate" about Baby, It's Cold Outside commence. 

​Manners are great -- when appropriate. 

But there is a time and a place for everything. 

One of the most ridiculous (not rediculous) things you hear about dating is the absurd claim that "girls like jerks" and "nice guys finish last."

The reality is that, sure. Some girls like guys who are kinda jerks. But they don't like them because they're jerks. They like them in spite of it. 

Most likely because they have so much else to offer. 

We've all heard dudes lament that flirting/hitting on girls/commenting on women's bodies is "only creepy when the guy is unattractive."

​Some women boldly declare the same.

Smartphones connect us in so many ways. They stunt us in so many others.

True fact: "bitchy" is a gender neutral term.

​And if you’re being passive aggressive, you’re being bitchy -- regardless of what’s in your pants.

And… it is my moral obligation -- to myself, to the speaker, and to society -- to ignore passive aggression.

One of the most valuable classes I ever took at Stanford... was Dance 46: Social Dance I. After a lifetime of feeling totally awkward and weird on the dance floor, I can now look forward to feeling comfortable -- and even skilled -- on any dance floor. For the rest of my life.