Is it sexist for women to think it’s the man’s job to make dates lively, entertaining, and memorable?
You know what I love about interacting with people who disagree with me? The inspiration that comes from hearing their viewpoints -- and the corresponding reevaluation and refining of my own views.
For example, I was recently asked whether it's sexist for women to expect to be entertained by men -- and it seemed like the asker was hoping for a definite yes. But the real answer... is maybe.
How to Work Out When You're Lazy - Advice From Someone Who Has NO Desire to Work Out, But Does All The Time
Whether for your health, your fitness, or your looks, many of us want to want to work out... but we don't.
I have the opposite problem (err, "problem"): I have no interest or motivation to work out... yet I do it all the time.
Something magical happens in the summer, and I could talk all day about the amazing people I've met while traveling, or through summer internships, or even just enjoying the outdoors on a sunny day.
Yet some of us have an easier time meeting new people than others, so I wanted to re-post some pointers I threw into a recent article. It was originally meant for daters, but really applies to everyone who wants to meet anyone.
Are you really expressing yourself -- or are you just dressing a certain way? Are you really showing the world your true self -- or are you just putting on a performance for an audience?
At this point in time, it's pretty widely known that social media is horrible for us. It makes us sad. It makes us lonely. It makes us jealous. It makes us boring.
Oh, and it gives us obesity, diabetes, and back and neck problems
Yet many of us spend more time than we wish to admit -- or even realize -- on social media.
Read any good books lately? I have: Peggy Ornstein's New York Times bestselling Cinderella Ate My Daughter: Dispatches From the Front Lines of the New Girlie-Girl Culture.
After finishing a chapter about Mattel and the American Girl Dolls, I was particularly struck by one of Ornstein's observations:
A few months ago, I was asked to answer this question on Quora:
"If you were a 17-year-old out of high school, what would you do with your life?
I tested out of high school two years early, and lately I've just become so stuck and cynical of life. I don't know what I'm missing and why I'm stuck. I don't know where to move on to.
I've been going to talk therapy once a week (which barely helps)."
I'm not a licensed clinical psychologist or anything, but I do have a bachelor's and master's in psychology from Stanford. So here's my take on your situation, which is based on many assumptions that may or may not be true.
You are a high-achieving individual. You are talented and gifted, and you worked hard enough to test out of high school two years early. That's really great. Congratulations on your achievements.
BUT. There is a cost associated with your achievements.
I recently published Boring People Lead Boring Lives, which discussed how passive entertainment stunts leisure skill development. I also wrote about the dangers of boredom:
Boredom proneness is dangerous. It's associated with increased feelings of aggression (Rupp & Vodanovich, 1997; Dahen, 20004), anger, substance abuse (Rupp & Vodanovich, 1997), procrastination (Vodanovich & Rupp, 1999), shyness (Maroldo, 1986), coronary-prone and Type-A behavior (Kass & Vodanovich, 1990), depression, anxiety (Ahmed, 1990; Vodanovich, Verner & Gilbride, 1991) and low self-actualization (Vodanovich & Rupp, 1999).
I thought I'd follow up with a story about how iPads destroy creativity, curiosity... and even language and other cognitive skills.
I got mad at my boyfriend last week.
We were discussing whether it would be a good idea for me to join him and his friends on a camping trip -- even though the primary activity would be whitewater kayaking. I'm not a fan of that particular sport... and I'm also recovering from a recent shoulder surgery.
"It's a beautiful area," he said to me. "I'm just afraid you'll get bored."
It was like he'd called me stupid or said I wasn't good at basketball or something. He's supposed to know me better than anyone else -- so how could he suggest such a thing?
About the Author
Eva is a content specialist with a passion for play, travel... and a little bit of girl power. Read more >
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