The last place I ever expected my writing to get shared... was incel forums. The Happy Talent is about taking accountability and making changes to self-improve. Incel forums are about whining like little boys and blaming women for all your flaws and shortcomings.
In particular, these man-children complain that I say things like, "Here are actionable steps to not seem creepy," and, "No means no."
Nevertheless, I have faith that at least some of these guys actually want to do better. Stop acting creepy. Find love.
Which is why today's lesson is: if a girl you were hitting on was rude to you, it's probably your fault.
Last Saturday, as I was writing my review of Broadway by the Bay's Into the Woods, an episode of Malcolm Gladwell's Revisionist History began playing. Within seconds, I was able to summarize the entire episode in a few sentences:
"They're going to say that Olympic silver medalists feel worse than bronze medalists, because silver medalists upward social compare ('I could have been the best in the world, but I'm not,') and bronze medalists downward social compare ('I'm so happy I got a medal!')."
While traveling in Malaysia this year, I met the most amazing woman. Vivacious, brilliant, and adventurous, this girl and I kayaked several miles of open sea in search of fish species we'd never seen before. We lay on the beach all night, watching the stars and eating watermelon infused with duty-free vodka. We trekked the python- and cobra-filled jungle in search of the elusive Penis Plant.
Last Night, I Screamed "NO!" In a Guy's Face Because He Wouldn't Stop Trying to Kiss Me. Would YOU Do That?
I screamed so loud, it echoed off the bricks and parking structures around us.
Fun fact: as a blogger, I get people pitching guest posts to me basically every day. I basically always say no. But once in a while, someone says something so brilliant, I've got to say yes. Among these: How to Be Happy, Even When You're Programmed Not To Be; 6 Reasons It's Not COMPLETELY Awful to Date A Guy Who Lives With His Parents; and If You Care About Women's Rights, Stop Saying Islam is a Religion of Peace.
Today, my friend Claire* told me a story I thought was worth sharing -- so we did a co-write of her experience with a "good friend" the other night.
Manners are great -- when appropriate.
But there is a time and a place for everything.
One of the most ridiculous (not rediculous) things you hear about dating is the absurd claim that "girls like jerks" and "nice guys finish last."
The reality is that, sure. Some girls like guys who are kinda jerks. But they don't like them because they're jerks. They like them in spite of it.
Most likely because they have so much else to offer.
Something major happens on the first day of October (and, sometimes, the first day of September) every year:
The menu at your favorite coffee shop changes. Just a little. But it is a very big deal.
We've all heard dudes lament that flirting/hitting on girls/commenting on women's bodies is "only creepy when the guy is unattractive."
Some women boldly declare the same.
Image source: NWS Seattle
Last night, after the most epic of all jam sessions (there was this moment when we were harmonizing Simon Garfunkel's "America," and we looked at each other and the sound of our voices meeting was, like, totally chilling), I said goodnight to my singing buddy and headed home.
But before I even got halfway, I messaged him: "Have you seen the moon tonight? If not, GO LOOK! Venus is really close to the moon right now."
Sometimes, something is said -- and without validation, it just becomes widely accepted as fact. For example, variations of, "Money can't buy happiness." Or, "Beyond [arbitrary number of dollars], money doesn't increase happiness." Or, for the truly wedged, "Kids who live on dirt floors and have nothing are just so happy." (If you really think that, you are wrong, and seriously need to check your privilege.)
About the Author
Eva is a content specialist with a passion for play, travel... and a little bit of girl power. Read more >
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