There's been some recent confusion about a post I wrote last fall. In What Men Don't Understand When They Complain, "It's Only Creepy If The Guy Isn't Hot," I made the very accurate and straightforward statement that flirting is only fun when it's reciprocated. Yes, I acknowledged, attractiveness does affect the likelihood of your flirting being reciprocated, and that sucks for people who are not attractive.
But continuing to hit on someone who isn't interested is a good way to be labeled creepy, and there are better ways to actually find love.
As I've mentioned in several recent posts, I've been traveling around Southeast Asia the last few months -- and one of my favorite things about travel is exploring cultural differences.
One that keeps popping up this year... is sex. Specifically, sex taboos.
Contrary to Obnoxious Stereotypes, The Victoria's Secret Fashion Show Makes Me Feel Good About Myself.
Victoria's Secret's CEO, Jan Singer, is stepping down -- and Forbes speculates it may be connected to rival brand ThirdLove's open letter in the New York Times about inclusion.
Singer, a female CEO, will be replaced John Mehas. (I don't mean to "assume his gender," but I'm pretty sure he's a dude -- I thought it was cool when a lingerie company had a woman at the helm.)
I'm not sure what this means for the future of VS... but part of me is worried about the future of the Victoria's Secret and its fashion show.
Manners are great -- when appropriate.
But there is a time and a place for everything.
We've all heard dudes lament that flirting/hitting on girls/commenting on women's bodies is "only creepy when the guy is unattractive."
Some women boldly declare the same.
Today's Women Feel Less Control Over Their Bodies Than Their Grandmas Did... Because of Smartphones.
Smartphones connect us in so many ways. They stunt us in so many others.
So I went to this super epic camping party this weekend. (Just an hour from home, too -- I love discovering new adventures right in my own backyard.) There were burgers, guitars, and beautiful harmonies. I was just about to debut my new song, "Expats Are Expats for a Reason," when one of the trip organizers made an announcement:
We were to gather around the fire for group storytime. And during this storytime, I realized that if you're a feminist guy or a male ally or whatever... you kind of just can't win.
True fact: "bitchy" is a gender neutral term.
And if you’re being passive aggressive, you’re being bitchy -- regardless of what’s in your pants.
And… it is my moral obligation -- to myself, to the speaker, and to society -- to ignore passive aggression.
'Unwanted Advances: Sexual Paranoia Comes To Campus' Was The Most Prescient Book of 2017 (And It's Equally Relevant Today)
Before #MeToo. Before DeVos and the Education Department formally rescinded Obama-era guidance on how colleges handle sexual assaults. Before trump's oddly hypocritical tweet about due process...
There was Laura Kipnis and her amazing 2017 book, Unwanted Advances: Sexual Paranoia Comes to Campus.
Growing up, I could NOT complain about being bored. If I did, my mom would tell me, "Boring people lead boring lives." It never felt good to hear -- but guess what? I grew up into a person who never feels bored -- and who almost takes concerns like, "It might not be fun for you," or, "I'm afraid you'd be bored," as an insult.
Similarly, as an adult, I sometimes find myself telling people who claim that Valentine's Day is "dumb," "commercialized," or a "Hallmark holiday": "It's only dumb if you make it dumb."
"If you find it uninspiring, it's only because you are uninspired.
About the Author
Eva is a content specialist with a passion for play, travel... and a little bit of girl power. Read more >
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