I’ve made, like, five new friends this month, just from flying on airplanes. I find it basically impossible not to meet cool people on airplanes, unless I actively choose not to (which I do, sometimes -- airplanes are also one place where I’m tremendously productive).
This has always been the case for me, and it's one of the best things about flying. Beyond learning interesting stuff about women's health, self-driving cars, forestry, and so much more... I've learned at least one important life lesson from which we can all benefit:
Too often, we don’t start a conversation… because we don’t know how. We all needlessly miss opportunities because we think we need some sort of “pickup line”... when, really, we don’t.
I spent the last two months in Indonesia and the Philippines -- which means I've had more than my share of opportunities to get seasick. From day trips to see the dugongs in Coron to island hopping in El Nido to liveaboards in the Komodo Islands, I definitely earned my sea legs.
And! I learned a really cool and potent way to fight seasickness, using only my mind.
"Eva, just admit it," a guy friend insisted recently. 'You're a flirt."
"What exactly do I do that makes you think that?"
He pondered for a moment, before sheepishly answering, "You smile... and make eye contact.
Let's bust yet another popular psychology myth.
"Money doesn't buy happiness."
"Before others can love you, you have to love yourself."
Popular psychology is full of myths and misperceptions. Money does buy happiness (if you know how to spend it). We like people who are like us (though, often, people who are complementary attract.) And saying, "Before others can love you, you have to love yourself," is ridiculous, and makes zero sense.
Last night was a rough night for basketball. Not only did Gordon Hayward suffer a horrific leg injury... but three (three!) of the guys I like playing with were unavailable for pickup, because it was "date night."
What are the odds, right?
But it got me thinking, "How come I've never done date night before?"
While technically Halloween is on the 31st, everyone knows that the joy of terror, horror, and benevolent transgressions must be celebrated for the entire month of October.
I started my month by thinking about these adorable and ridiculous Halloween shoes. But soon, I started seeing elaborate displays in some of my neighbors' yards.
I recently found myself sitting by a river in Idaho with no agenda or technology - for a whole day! So I read Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life, by Byron Katie.
Love is pretty much the greatest thing ever. People who don't understand evolution think sex is the most important thing ever -- but without love, our species wouldn't exist. It doesn't matter how many women you can knock up if no one loves or cares for anyone and all the babies die.
As such, we evolved to be acutely sensitive to loneliness (and other negative emotions, like jealousy). And we evolved to love love.
Sometimes, spaces look playful... but you can't actually play in them. image: reddit
Don't get me wrong. I love ball pits as much as the next guy. I spent pretty much every afternoon of my childhood at Chuck E. Cheese (and, unlike kids today, I actually got to run around and play by myself while the parents drank pitchers of beer). I'm all about play, and I'm stoked that so many Silicon Valley startups want ball pits.
But here's the thing: many designers and office managers think their job is complete once they've got that ball pit installed.
Creating a playful office space requires more than that.
I love my friends. That's why I'm mean to them.
"Hey, man. There's this really cool Exeter party on Friday. I'd totally invite you... but, honestly, you're kind of a clinger, and I don't want to have to babysit you."
About the Author
Eva is a content specialist with a passion for play, travel... and a little bit of girl power. Read more >
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