So I went to this super epic camping party this weekend. (Just an hour from home, too -- I love discovering new adventures right in my own backyard.) There were burgers, guitars, and beautiful harmonies. I was just about to debut my new song, "Expats Are Expats for a Reason," when one of the trip organizers made an announcement:
We were to gather around the fire for group storytime. And during this storytime, I realized that if you're a feminist guy or a male ally or whatever... you kind of just can't win.
I was never a fan of "motivational speakers" -- I have plenty of motivation, and when I listen to someone talk, it's because I want to laugh or learn.
But I stumbled upon an inspirational talk by author Brené Brown a few years ago, and it made me laugh and learn so much that I've listened to it at least once per year since.
Listen to it -- I guarantee you'll at least crack a smile.
True fact: "bitchy" is a gender neutral term.
And if you’re being passive aggressive, you’re being bitchy -- regardless of what’s in your pants.
And… it is my moral obligation -- to myself, to the speaker, and to society -- to ignore passive aggression.
"That Christmas dress -- my lord!" someone said recently when I posted this photo on my Instagram. It simultaneously felt nice to get a compliment... and slightly uncomfortable, because for some reason, our culture drills into us that it's bad to accept a compliment.
"Eva, just admit it," a guy friend insisted recently. 'You're a flirt."
"What exactly do I do that makes you think that?"
He pondered for a moment, before sheepishly answering, "You smile... and make eye contact.
It was simple, really.
People who don't know much about life coaching love to poo poo life coaching. Like, looooove.
And I understand why. The idea that a 25-year-old with two years of work experience knows what it takes to make you a CEO... is a little absurd.
People get their panties up in the HUGEST bunch when I have the nerve to say things like, "I love the way I look," or, "I'm really good at sports." It's like a trigger -- without knowing anything about me, or even finishing the article, they decide I'm "arrogant" and "vain" and "narcissistic."
But I'm actually not. (Seriously -- I checked. According to Dr. Craig Malkin's Rethinking Narcissism, I score very highly on "healthy self-regard," but pretty low on "narcissism.")
I studied psychology. When people learn this, they often ask, "Oh! Are you analyzing me right now?"
The answer is yes. Absolutely. And here's my analysis of you:
I recently found myself sitting by a river in Idaho with no agenda or technology - for a whole day! So I read Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life, by Byron Katie.
About the Author
Eva is a content specialist with a passion for play, travel... and a little bit of girl power. Read more >
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