It's Not That Girls Don't Like Guys Who Are "Desperate" or "Too Available." It's That You Ignored Her Boundaries.
I have a remote girl crush on Jadzia. A regular commenter on my blog, she offers insights and perspectives I often haven't thought of. She makes relevant points, even when she disagrees with me.
And her recent comment on my post, Saying "Before Others Can Love You, You Have to Love Yourself" is COMPLETELY FALSE, inspired not just a reply -- but a whole new post.
Let's bust yet another popular psychology myth.
"Money doesn't buy happiness."
"Before others can love you, you have to love yourself."
Popular psychology is full of myths and misperceptions. Money does buy happiness (if you know how to spend it). We like people who are like us (though, often, people who are complementary attract.) And saying, "Before others can love you, you have to love yourself," is ridiculous, and makes zero sense.
Ping pong and Katy Perry in Mandalay, Myanmar. What could be better?
You know some of my favorite places to visit? The ones where, when people hear you speaking English, they don't rush over to sell you something -- they rush over to ask you if you're from California, if you've ever met George Bush, or if you own guns.
I confronted a guy who tried to cut me in the Immigrations line at Bandaranike International Airport in Sri Lanka a few months ago. He fired back by calling me Taylor Swift...
I was all, "Taylor Swift IS the music industry. I don't see how that's a diss."
People get their panties up in the HUGEST bunch when I have the nerve to say things like, "I love the way I look," or, "I'm really good at sports." It's like a trigger -- without knowing anything about me, or even finishing the article, they decide I'm "arrogant" and "vain" and "narcissistic."
But I'm actually not. (Seriously -- I checked. According to Dr. Craig Malkin's Rethinking Narcissism, I score very highly on "healthy self-regard," but pretty low on "narcissism.")
Last night was a rough night for basketball. Not only did Gordon Hayward suffer a horrific leg injury... but three (three!) of the guys I like playing with were unavailable for pickup, because it was "date night."
What are the odds, right?
But it got me thinking, "How come I've never done date night before?"
While technically Halloween is on the 31st, everyone knows that the joy of terror, horror, and benevolent transgressions must be celebrated for the entire month of October.
I started my month by thinking about these adorable and ridiculous Halloween shoes. But soon, I started seeing elaborate displays in some of my neighbors' yards.
Everyone who's been paying attention knows that if anything mattered in 2017, it was La Croix.
I studied psychology. When people learn this, they often ask, "Oh! Are you analyzing me right now?"
The answer is yes. Absolutely. And here's my analysis of you:
Cyber bullies are mean -- especially to women, but also to men. Which is why so many public figures, from Lindy West to Ed Sheeran, have "quit social media" and "left Twitter."
But bullies can also be a blogger's greatest ally! My email list basically doubled this week because a few damaged people decided to call me names on our high school alumni page.
That's the silly thing that bullies don't realize. By "hating" on me... they're kind of giving me exactly what I want. (Kind of like how protestors of conservative speakers take what would have been a one-time audience of 50-100 students, and turn it into an international sensation
About the Author
Eva is a content specialist with a passion for play, travel... and a little bit of girl power. Read more >
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