The craziest thing happened on my way home from a party a few months ago. I thought I was saving this girl from being sexually assaulted, but instead, I almost had to fight her.
That was the night I realized my pepper spray was basically completely useless to me.
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This is just a quick public service announcement that, while karaoke and open mic and musical theater and bar jams are all on hold right now... there is endless fun to be had, right there in your home, for less than the price of a beer.
All you need to do is buy the music used -- you'll be paying $3-8 per book instead of $18+.
"What about y'all?" a friend asked recently after during our nightly Zoom call. He'd just introduced everyone to his newborn baby and shared the birth story. "What's new with you?"
"What's... new with me?"
It's the lockdown. No one had much to report -- and certainly nothing that compares to birthing a quarantine baby. Finally, I said, "Well... I found a box of my old clothes from high school and middle school in the barn. They're in really good condition, and I think they still fit."
Spring break is canceled. Your summer travel plans are canceled. Date night is canceled. Open mic, karaoke, sports, concerts, birthdays, weddings.
It's all canceled.
Even your ability to hike in local parks or surf local beaches may be canceled.
And one way to cope with these losses may be a small investment in a starry night or ocean projector.
When people ask me what my blog is about, I want to tell them, "Playfulness." Playfulness is why I started this blog. It's on my About page; it's discussed on some of my most popular posts...
Yet one recurring theme has been assertiveness. Assertiveness seems at odds with playfulness... but, in fact, I've found assertiveness to be a crucial skill that enables my playfulness.
And it's probably one of the most important possible social skills you can learn and use during the current lockdown/quarantine/social distancing protocols.
You'd think, from the hysterical way white dudes drinking cheap beer at hostel bars tell white women they need to "cover up" while traveling, that I'd've offended someone by now.
(I mean, other than said white dudes. They, like certain parts of certain cultures, do not deserve my respect.)
But no! No bikini, shorts, or tank top I've worn has ever offended a local -- in fact, most seem absolutely delighted for the chance to chat, question, or take a photo with me. Especially the women.
But... there is one thing I wore once that was super offensive, and just thinking about it makes me cringe.
Some people love Valentine's Day. Others (me) love Valentine's Week. Some people (also me) think you should live every single day like it's Valentine's Day.
At What Point in a Female Musician's Career Can She Stop Flashing Her Crotch And Literally Dancing on Stripper Poles?
I'm not outraged. I'm not offended. I'm just sad.
I recently had the good fortune of meeting Rich Gosse, chairman of The Society of Single Professionals and author of The Donald Trump Syndrome: Why Women Choose the Wrong Men to Love.
He told me something none of you millennials are going to believe:
"Even though I founded the second ever online dating site back in the 1990s, I still think meeting face-to-face is best.”
And I agree.
The last place I ever expected my writing to get shared... was incel forums. The Happy Talent is about taking accountability and making changes to self-improve. Incel forums are about whining like little boys and blaming women for all your flaws and shortcomings.
In particular, these man-children complain that I say things like, "Here are actionable steps to not seem creepy," and, "No means no."
Nevertheless, I have faith that at least some of these guys actually want to do better. Stop acting creepy. Find love.
Which is why today's lesson is: if a girl you were hitting on was rude to you, it's probably your fault.
About the Author
Eva is a content specialist with a passion for play, travel... and a little bit of girl power. Read more >
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