'Unwanted Advances: Sexual Paranoia Comes To Campus' Was The Most Prescient Book of 2017 (And It's Equally Relevant Today)
Before #MeToo. Before DeVos and the Education Department formally rescinded Obama-era guidance on how colleges handle sexual assaults. Before trump's oddly hypocritical tweet about due process...
There was Laura Kipnis and her amazing 2017 book, Unwanted Advances: Sexual Paranoia Comes to Campus.
Apparently, it's that time of year again. I know this not because I've seen Girl Scouts out and about, actively developing business, social, and communication skills... but because I've seen parents posting links on their Facebook accounts.
All I can say is, "DON'T DO IT."
It was simple, really.
A short story in The New Yorker went viral this weekend!
A short story! Fiction! Went viral! This is very new and exciting.
But equally exciting is the number of conversations this story has sparked, and the lessons women (and men) can learn from it.
People who don't know much about life coaching love to poo poo life coaching. Like, looooove.
And I understand why. The idea that a 25-year-old with two years of work experience knows what it takes to make you a CEO... is a little absurd.
Sometimes, smart people say dumb things.
For example, I surfed with a buddy recently. Super smart guy. Successful exits and all that. Yet he couldn't seem to wrap his mind around the idea that my good friend (whom he'd never met, whom I've known for years -- apparently, men are really bad at gathering sufficient information before leaping to conclusions) likes me because I use my "feminine wiles."
Let's bust yet another popular psychology myth.
"Money doesn't buy happiness."
"Before others can love you, you have to love yourself."
Popular psychology is full of myths and misperceptions. Money does buy happiness (if you know how to spend it). We like people who are like us (though, often, people who are complementary attract.) And saying, "Before others can love you, you have to love yourself," is ridiculous, and makes zero sense.
I studied psychology. When people learn this, they often ask, "Oh! Are you analyzing me right now?"
The answer is yes. Absolutely. And here's my analysis of you:
I recently found myself sitting by a river in Idaho with no agenda or technology - for a whole day! So I read Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life, by Byron Katie.
Love is pretty much the greatest thing ever. People who don't understand evolution think sex is the most important thing ever -- but without love, our species wouldn't exist. It doesn't matter how many women you can knock up if no one loves or cares for anyone and all the babies die.
As such, we evolved to be acutely sensitive to loneliness (and other negative emotions, like jealousy). And we evolved to love love.
About the Author
Eva is a content specialist with a passion for play, travel... and a little bit of girl power. Read more >
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