Guys — I am absolutely loving my summer reading list! It started with Hillary's What Happened, which, as I wrote in Right Now is the Best, Weirdest Time to Read Hillary Clinton's 'What Happened', felt weirdly timely and relevant. I also enjoyed and recommend A History of the United States in Five Crashes: Stock Market Meltdowns That Defined a Nation (which also feels really relevant right now), Irreversible Damage: The Transgender Craze Seducing Our Daughters (which is alarming, to say the least), A Sand County Almanac (which is more soothing than poetry), and The Pioneers: The Heroic Story of the Settlers Who Brought the American Ideal West (which was educational, but definitely not my favorite).
Now, I'm finishing Marriage, a History: How Love Conquered Marriage, from which I learned a really weird and unexpected fact:
Marriage counseling was pioneered as a form of eugenics.
Spring break is canceled. Your summer travel plans are canceled. Date night is canceled. Open mic, karaoke, sports, concerts, birthdays, weddings.
It's all canceled.
Even your ability to hike in local parks or surf local beaches may be canceled.
And one way to cope with these losses may be a small investment in a starry night or ocean projector.
I recently had the good fortune of meeting Rich Gosse, chairman of The Society of Single Professionals and author of The Donald Trump Syndrome: Why Women Choose the Wrong Men to Love.
He told me something none of you millennials are going to believe:
"Even though I founded the second ever online dating site back in the 1990s, I still think meeting face-to-face is best.”
And I agree.
There's been some recent confusion about a post I wrote last fall. In What Men Don't Understand When They Complain, "It's Only Creepy If The Guy Isn't Hot," I made the very accurate and straightforward statement that flirting is only fun when it's reciprocated. Yes, I acknowledged, attractiveness does affect the likelihood of your flirting being reciprocated, and that sucks for people who are not attractive.
But continuing to hit on someone who isn't interested is a good way to be labeled creepy, and there are better ways to actually find love.
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Let me start by saying that I love you. I love that you want to be there for me. I love that you're showing concern for my health and recovery. It means so much.
But can I just, real quick, tell you what my mornings have been like since my injury?
Last Night, I Screamed "NO!" In a Guy's Face Because He Wouldn't Stop Trying to Kiss Me. Would YOU Do That?
I screamed so loud, it echoed off the bricks and parking structures around us.
Fun fact: as a blogger, I get people pitching guest posts to me basically every day. I basically always say no. But once in a while, someone says something so brilliant, I've got to say yes. Among these: How to Be Happy, Even When You're Programmed Not To Be; 6 Reasons It's Not COMPLETELY Awful to Date A Guy Who Lives With His Parents; and If You Care About Women's Rights, Stop Saying Islam is a Religion of Peace.
Today, my friend Claire* told me a story I thought was worth sharing -- so we did a co-write of her experience with a "good friend" the other night.
Yesterday, I wrote about how there's a difference between helping a depressed friend and enabling an abuser. My intention was to inform those whose friends suffer from mental illness to be compassionate... but remember to think critically about your actions and the effects they may have on your friend and his/her partner.
Today, I'm writing a quick reminder to those who are, or may be, affected by mental illness:
Your partner is not your emotional slave.
My background is in psychology -- but not abnormal or relationship psychology. (I studied adult playfulness!) I want to acknowledge that before I start, because this is far from my area of expertise.
But I just saw some of THE MOST FUCKED UP SHIT on Facebook, and it prompted an important realization:
There is a difference between helping a depressed friend and enabling an abuser.
Manners are great -- when appropriate.
But there is a time and a place for everything.
One of the most ridiculous (not rediculous) things you hear about dating is the absurd claim that "girls like jerks" and "nice guys finish last."
The reality is that, sure. Some girls like guys who are kinda jerks. But they don't like them because they're jerks. They like them in spite of it.
Most likely because they have so much else to offer.
About the Author
Eva is a content specialist with a passion for play, travel... and a little bit of girl power. Read more >
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