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Fun Fact: The Original Purpose of Marriage Counseling Was Eugenics

8/12/2020

13 Comments

 
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Guys — I am absolutely loving my summer reading list! It started with Hillary's What Happened, which, as I wrote in ​Right Now is the Best, Weirdest Time to Read Hillary Clinton's 'What Happened', felt weirdly timely and relevant. I also enjoyed and recommend ​A History of the United States in Five Crashes: Stock Market Meltdowns That Defined a Nation (which also feels really relevant right now), ​Irreversible Damage: The Transgender Craze Seducing Our Daughters (which is alarming, to say the least), A Sand County Almanac (which is more soothing than poetry), and ​The Pioneers: The Heroic Story of the Settlers Who Brought the American Ideal West (which was educational, but definitely not my favorite).

Now, I'm finishing Marriage, a History: How Love Conquered Marriage, from which I learned a really weird and unexpected fact:

​Marriage counseling was pioneered as a form of eugenics. 
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Which isn't to say that marriage counseling doesn't have an important place in today's society — some people today need to be reminded that their romantic partner is not their emotional slave, and others simply need to figure out better ways to communicate with each other. (Gary Chapman's The Five Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts really made me realize the extent to which well-meaning communication and acts of love can got lot in translation.)

But. 

​Stephanie Coontz writes that, as marriage started shifting from a more "stable" arrangement based on controlling property and running businesses, to a less stable social contract based on love and pleasure, many politicians and scholars worried about rising divorce rates and the future of marriage.

Simultaneously, the eugenics movement had begun spreading fears that lower and "unfit" classes were "reproducing like rabbits," while middle and upper class women were restricting their fertility. Eugenics warned that this trend would debase society's gene pool.

The popularity of eugenics among Nazis in 1930s is well-known, but few people realize how widespread these ideas were throughout Western Europe and America in the 1920s. In fact, well before the Nazis came to power, California had the most extensive eugenics program in the world, performing more sterilizations than all other countries combined. Most of the men were sterilized because they couldn't perform the "breadwinner" role, while most of the sterilized women were "sex delinquents."

As white fertility dropped and divorce rates rose, eugenics proponents began endorsing marriage counseling. Eugenicist Paul Popenoe, who estimated that on basis on IQ, 10 million Americans ought to be sterilized, wrote, ""If we are going to promote a sound population, we would not only have to get the right kind of people married, but we would have to keep them married."

Sure enough, given their interest in eugenics, Germany and the US were the world's leaders in the marriage counseling business by the early 1930s, though the practice quickly spread through Canada and most of Western Europe. Coontz writes, "Courses in marriage and family life, covering everything from dating to marital sex to birth control, proliferated." 

Even as eugenics fell out of favor following WWII, Popenoe remained one of most influential marriage counselors in the US from the 1930s through the 1960s. 
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Eugenicist Paul Popenoe counseling a couple on hereditary preservation, 1930. (Eugenics Archive)

The more you know, right?

Obviously, as I wrote earlier in this post, this doesn't mean we need to "cancel" marriage counseling. That would be stupid. Just because it has dubious roots doesn't mean it doesn't serve an important purpose in today's world. 

The practice has very much changed and evolved, saving countless marriages from collapse, and, hopefully, helping countless men and women escape toxic or abusive marriages.

I know I said this while reading Julie Andrews' autoboigraphy, ​Home Work: A Memoir of My Hollywood Years, then stumbling upon an old movie theater that was running a double-feature of Mary Poppins and The Sound of Music
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While reading What Happened and feeling like every chapter was written in response to that day's news stories about the 2020 election, and while reading A History of the United States in Five Crashes: Stock Market Meltdowns That Defined a Nation during the uncertainty and chaos surrounding COVID-19... 

But it felt like a funny coincidence that I was reading this chapter of Marriage, a History — the very same day I got an email from Stanford about renaming Building 420, formally known as Jordan Hall.
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It's like my reading list is conspiring to connect itself to my real world. I love it. 

The renaming of Jordan Hall is something I discussed in my 2016 Quillette article, The Real Problem with Renaming Buildings on Campus: Logistics, in which I wrote:

​I think renaming is dangerous. There is no room for revisionist history in a world where there are still holocaust deniers.

But mostly, I object to renaming because there is no logical, consistent way to approach this issue. Let’s look at Stanford campus. If you choose to rename one building, you must follow-up by examining all buildings named after people whose actions could be considered offensive by today’s far left standards.

David Starr Jordan, for whom Stanford named its psychology building, was the first president of Stanford. He was both a peace activist and eugenicist.

Phil Knight, after whom Stanford’s School of Management is named, used low-cost (and, possibly, child) labor in Asia to manufacture his sneakers.

Bill Gates, who endowed Stanford’s computer science building, was once under investigation by the Justice Department for monopolistic business practices. He is also a philanthropist — but so were many of the people whose names have been protested.

And, of course, there’s Leland Stanford himself. This man employed Chinese labor under unsafe working conditions. He used his political influence to secure a monopoly for Southern Pacific to build the western expanse of the Trans Continental Railroad. As California state governor, he ostensibly supported anti-Asian sentiment and lobbied against Chinese immigration. He even told the state legislature in 1862, “The presence of numbers of that degraded and distinct people would exercise a deleterious effect upon the superior race.”[1]




As a blogger, it's always interesting to look back at the things you thought were ridiculous hyperbole just a few years ago, that are now coming to pass. 

Clearly eugenics is bad. But it's certainly not over. Going back to my summer reading list, ​Irreversible Damage has illustrated a very different, but equally disturbing, form of eugenics and sterilization targeting a specific, vulnerable population: 

Children who suffer gender dysphoria. 

Author Abigale Shrier writes:
 Suppression of normal bone density development and greater risk of osteoporosis, loss of sexual function, interference with brain development, and possibly suppressing peak IQ are all risks puberty blockers carry. The degree and level of certainty is anyone's guess, since we have no good long-term studies on children who were given puberty blockers for gender dysphoria. What we do know is these risks increase dramatically if an adolescent moves straight from puberty blockers to cross-sex hormones. In that case, infertility is almost guaranteed—and sexual development and potential for orgasm may be foreclosed for good. [p. 165]


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I'm no medical expert, but this seems incredibly unethical. 

It makes me wonder if, someday, the names of those involved in administering off-label Lupron to children (among other medical interventions) will be reviled as much as Paul Popenoe's. 

​I wonder if, someday, their names, like David Starr Jordan's, will have to be removed from buildings. 
13 Comments
Anna
8/22/2020 08:52:23 am

Interesting perspective. It is very popular to "cancel" art that was "created by monsters," but it seems beyond comprehension (I hope, but who knows?) to "cancel" marriage counseling. I wonder if thinking about it from this perspective might sway woke types in the direction of reason.

Also, was shocked to learn about the use of Lupron in children. If true, I do think these people deserve all the condemnation we reserve for racists, bigots, and homophobes. Absolutely unacceptable!

Reply
Caoimhe Bishop
5/16/2021 06:50:50 am

Those are some fascinating sounding books! Do you perhaps have a recommended reading list?

Reply
Orange County Divorce Lawyers link
7/21/2022 01:15:11 pm

Running businesses, to a less stable social contract based on love and pleasure, many politicians and scholars worried about rising divorce rates and the future of marriage. Thank you for sharing your great post!

Reply
Orange County Family Law Lawyers link
7/21/2022 01:43:41 pm

The practice has very much changed and evolved, saving countless marriages from collapse, and, hopefully, helping countless men and women escape toxic or abusive marriages. Thank you for taking the time to write a great post!

Reply
relationship counseling link
10/29/2022 07:55:36 am

There is no doubt that divorce rates are rising. In the United States, the divorce rate is now at its highest level in nearly 40 years. And this trend is not limited to the United States; divorce rates are rising all over the world.

What does this trend mean for the future of marriage? It is hard to say for sure. Some experts believe that rising divorce rates are a sign that marriage is becoming less important to people. Others believe that rising divorce rates are simply a reflection of the fact that people are now more willing to end a unhappy marriage.

Whatever the reason for the rising divorce rates, one thing is clear: marriage is changing. And it is hard to say what the future of marriage will look like.

Reply
Blank Hoodies link
2/23/2024 11:39:20 pm

Nice post! Thanks for sharing this post.

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marriage counseling charleston link
3/5/2024 06:10:23 am

Wow, this blog post is incredibly insightful! Thank you for sharing such valuable information. Your perspective has truly broadened my understanding on this topic.

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Couples Counseling near me link
8/17/2024 01:02:59 am

When working with a family or a couple, we view the relationship as the client and focus work to improving the dynamics between you and your loved ones. We generally begin our work by learning how to better communicate with and understand each other. By creating an environment where you can be heard and accepted and learn to hear and accept others, an atmosphere of trust is established, where you are more comfortable sharing who you are with your loved ones.

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2/8/2025 05:03:21 am

Comprehensive treatment options to address substance abuse and support long-term recovery.

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Salient Strategic link
2/24/2025 08:47:31 pm

Wow, I never knew this! It’s crazy how something meant to help relationships started with such a different purpose.

Reply
Raymond link
2/25/2025 10:40:34 pm

This is a fascinating and well-researched exploration of the historical roots of marriage counseling. The way you connect its origins to broader societal themes is both thought-provoking and insightful. Your ability to present complex ideas in an engaging and accessible manner makes this a compelling read. Great work!

Reply
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4/7/2025 12:56:21 am

Adolescent trauma residential treatment centers specialize in helping teens recover from traumatic experiences, such as abuse, neglect, loss, or violence. These programs provide 24/7 care in a nurturing, therapeutic setting with trauma-informed clinicians. Treatment often includes evidence-based modalities like EMDR, DBT, and CBT, with a strong focus on emotional regulation, safety, and rebuilding trust and self-worth.

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