I went for a long walk on the beach with my dear friend Alex* recently, and during a conversation about relationships -- inspiration struck! (Inspiration always strikes when I go to the beach!)

Alex wanted to contribute to The Happy Talent... but anonymously. So without further ado, here is The Happy Talent's first​ guest post of 2017! 

"I'm socially awkward."

"I have, like, zero social skills."

"I don't want to go to the party because I never know what to do at parties."

We've all heard -- or even uttered -- such phrases. Maybe when you hear it, you feel sympathetic. But when I hear it, I feel slightly annoyed. "Socially awkward" is a choice. Saying you have "bad social skills," to me, sounds like saying, "I'm bad at basketball," when you haven't played since middle school.

Two years ago, "Fit Mom" made a lot of people mad by posting this post-baby photo, featuring toned abs, three young sons, and the caption, "What's your excuse?"

Out came the online bullies! Not only were they mad that she has an "unattainable" body... but they also decided, based on a single photo, that she is a "bad mom."

​Recently, someone asked my thoughts on the whole ordeal. Here's my professional opinion.

This is a blog about playfulness, social skills and self-expression. I've mocked the idea of "expressing yourself" by wearing certain clothes, instead of creating or doing. Meanwhile, I'd been writing songs for over a year, without ever really sharing them with anyone...

Until now.

Yesterday, while sipping a honey-lavender latte at Bliss Cafe, I got to talking with the most gorgeous woman. And I don't just mean her face -- her whole soul was radiant with joy. When the topic shifted to one that is dear to me, travel, she said something fascinating:

"One week of travel produces a year's worth of memories."

Maybe next, they'll just ban all alcohol and all parties. 

Shame on you, Stanford.

First, you totally buy into Brock Turner's whole "men don't rape people -- alcohol rapes people" thing by banning hard alcohol. A move which, by the way, is not going to reduce sexual assault. 

Then, you publish the most victim-blaming, condescending website ever. In Female Bodies and Alcohol, which you've since had the sense to take down, you wrote, "Women who are seen drinking alcohol are perceived to be more sexually available than they may actually be.”

And now, you've canceled one of Stanford's most outrageously fun and ridiculous traditions: Full Moon on the Quad.

A recently-divorced, 59-year-old man recently asked, "I'm so lonely -- what should I do?"

While it sucks that he is now single and alone... the good news is that roughly 50% of marriages end in divorce these days, so there are plenty of beautiful, single women out there. Meeting them in real life can be hard -- but here's something most 50-somethings don't know:

Once upon a time, I met a super cool dude at a book reading. I remember the moment I saw the back of his head. Then, during the Q&A, he moved to the chair next to me, and the sparks instantly started flying. 

​But it didn't take long to figure out I never wanted to see him again.

A wise woman once said, "Boys only want love if it's torture."

Of course, she was being totally sarcastic. What this wise woman was actually​ doing was giving the biggest "f- you" ever to the sexist coverage her music got in the media.

Annie's all, "Now get lost."

​Humans love chivalry -- just take a look at every movie ever made. Woman gets in trouble. Man saves woman. Or look at some of the most beloved photos from every wedding ever. Grandson dances with Grandma. Father walks bride down the aisle.