There's been some recent confusion about a post I wrote last fall. In What Men Don't Understand When They Complain, "It's Only Creepy If The Guy Isn't Hot," I made the very accurate and straightforward statement that flirting is only fun when it's reciprocated. Yes, I acknowledged, attractiveness does affect the likelihood of your flirting being reciprocated, and that sucks for people who are not attractive.
But continuing to hit on someone who isn't interested is a good way to be labeled creepy, and there are better ways to actually find love.
Last Night, I Screamed "NO!" In a Guy's Face Because He Wouldn't Stop Trying to Kiss Me. Would YOU Do That?
I screamed so loud, it echoed off the bricks and parking structures around us.
Fun fact: as a blogger, I get people pitching guest posts to me basically every day. I basically always say no. But once in a while, someone says something so brilliant, I've got to say yes. Among these: How to Be Happy, Even When You're Programmed Not To Be; 6 Reasons It's Not COMPLETELY Awful to Date A Guy Who Lives With His Parents; and If You Care About Women's Rights, Stop Saying Islam is a Religion of Peace.
Today, my friend Claire* told me a story I thought was worth sharing -- so we did a co-write of her experience with a "good friend" the other night.
One of the most ridiculous (not rediculous) things you hear about dating is the absurd claim that "girls like jerks" and "nice guys finish last."
The reality is that, sure. Some girls like guys who are kinda jerks. But they don't like them because they're jerks. They like them in spite of it.
Most likely because they have so much else to offer.
We've all heard dudes lament that flirting/hitting on girls/commenting on women's bodies is "only creepy when the guy is unattractive."
Some women boldly declare the same.
I’ve made, like, five new friends this month, just from flying on airplanes. I find it basically impossible not to meet cool people on airplanes, unless I actively choose not to (which I do, sometimes -- airplanes are also one place where I’m tremendously productive).
This has always been the case for me, and it's one of the best things about flying. Beyond learning interesting stuff about women's health, self-driving cars, forestry, and so much more... I've learned at least one important life lesson from which we can all benefit:
Too often, we don’t start a conversation… because we don’t know how. We all needlessly miss opportunities because we think we need some sort of “pickup line”... when, really, we don’t.
True fact: "bitchy" is a gender neutral term.
And if you’re being passive aggressive, you’re being bitchy -- regardless of what’s in your pants.
And… it is my moral obligation -- to myself, to the speaker, and to society -- to ignore passive aggression.
Growing up, I could NOT complain about being bored. If I did, my mom would tell me, "Boring people lead boring lives." It never felt good to hear -- but guess what? I grew up into a person who never feels bored -- and who almost takes concerns like, "It might not be fun for you," or, "I'm afraid you'd be bored," as an insult.
Similarly, as an adult, I sometimes find myself telling people who claim that Valentine's Day is "dumb," "commercialized," or a "Hallmark holiday": "It's only dumb if you make it dumb."
"If you find it uninspiring, it's only because you are uninspired.
(International Olympic Committee)
I know it's titillating to think about all the sex Olympians must be having. Just four days ago, journalists were abuzz with some very important news: the Olympic village will be stocked with 37 condoms per athlete.
I'm going to go ahead and state the obvious:
Just because Olympic athletes are taking a lot of free condoms, doesn't mean they're having a lot of sex.
It was simple, really.
A short story in The New Yorker went viral this weekend!
A short story! Fiction! Went viral! This is very new and exciting.
But equally exciting is the number of conversations this story has sparked, and the lessons women (and men) can learn from it.
About the Author
Eva is a content specialist with a passion for play, travel... and a little bit of girl power. Read more >
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