"Eva, just admit it," a guy friend insisted recently. 'You're a flirt."
"What exactly do I do that makes you think that?"
He pondered for a moment, before sheepishly answering, "You smile... and make eye contact.
It was simple, really.
Sometimes, smart people say dumb things.
For example, I surfed with a buddy recently. Super smart guy. Successful exits and all that. Yet he couldn't seem to wrap his mind around the idea that my good friend (whom he'd never met, whom I've known for years -- apparently, men are really bad at gathering sufficient information before leaping to conclusions) likes me because I'm cool, and not because I use my "feminine wiles."
It's Not That Girls Don't Like Guys Who Are "Desperate" or "Too Available." It's That You Ignored Her Boundaries.
I have a remote girl crush on Jadzia. A regular commenter on my blog, she offers insights and perspectives I often haven't thought of. She makes relevant points, even when she disagrees with me.
And her recent comment on my post, Saying "Before Others Can Love You, You Have to Love Yourself" is COMPLETELY FALSE, inspired not just a reply -- but a whole new post.
I studied psychology. When people learn this, they often ask, "Oh! Are you analyzing me right now?"
The answer is yes. Absolutely. And here's my analysis of you:
So I saw this funny video on my newsfeed last night. Though I enjoyed watching it, it also made me a little sad. Like... Watch it. What man actually thinks the first guy would ever get a woman's number?
1 Reason Why the Graphic Rape Scene in 13 Reasons Why Was Important, And Teen and Preteen Girls Should See It.
I had no interest in watching a show about teen suicide. But after seeing so many articles praising the Netflix original, 13 Reasons Why, I decided to check it out. I mean, supposedly it was one of the best teen dramas of all time.
The show was kind of boring and not that good. But it had its moments, and I was able to find some value in it. Including the controversial rape scene, which critics say was too graphic and emotional and explicit.
I had the opposite reaction. This was exactly the rape scene that teen and preteen girls need to see.
Asked this question recently, it only took me about half a second to realize there is only one right answer:
Someone on Quora recently asked, Why do guys stare at me when I wear a sheer top? There's a reasonable possibility that it was a troll, given the question details ("guys have no right to go crazy over my sheer tops and beautiful pink bras")... But it's still an interesting topic that I think is worth discussing.
One common misconception about feminism is that it's not about "equality," it's about giving women more rights than men. Guys (which I obviously mean in a totally gender-inclusive way). This couldn't be further from the truth.
Real feminism seeks both to eliminate inequality and to empower women to live their lives the way they want to. Meaning that some change has to come from men. But some change has to come from women.
I mean, we're equal, right? That means that men and women need to improve.
And one of the ways in which women need to improve is in their use of hedging language.
About the Author
Eva is a content specialist with a passion for play, travel... and a little bit of girl power. Read more >
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