Being driven by a desire to win means that when you achieve your goal, you’ll feel joy. Being driven by a fear of failure means when you succeed, you’ll feel relief.

Whether training for your high school swim team or trying to make it to the pros, you've probably experienced a plateau. All athletes do! There are tons of physical reasons -- and one very mental reason -- why this happens. 

You're entitled to your own opinion. But you are not entitled to your own facts. Which is why I'm taking the time to point out some of the reasons that words are not violence -- and that there is truth to the old rhyme, "Sticks and stones can break my bones, but names will never hurt me."

"It is a happy talent to know how to play," Ralph Waldo Emerson once said. 

He was exactly right. According to my master's research, playfulness isn't a trait -- it's a skill. But due to the ubiquity of technology (read: passive entertainment) and high-achieving childhoods, many young adults have yet to develop their leisure skills. 

The fact that they're making less money and are more likely to have debt than ever doesn't help.

"It is a happy talent to know how to play," Ralph Waldo Emerson once said. And, unlike many well-known adages that were later proven wrong ("money can't buy happiness"; "don't compare yourself to others"; "don't praise your daughter's looks"), Emerson was exactly right. 

Playfulness is a skill -- not a trait. Yet, because of changes in parenting styles and culture, many children no longer learn how to play.

In fact, thanks to helicopter parenting, children are no longer learning a lot​ of things. 

Kids these days -- amirite? 

​No, but actually. For real. Kids these days are more sensitive and fragile than kids of the past. Even according to the president of an elite university that I spoke with recently, “Today’s college students are not like you.”

I am a proud member of the Exeter alumni community -- see also: What it's Like to Go to Phillips Exeter Academy, the "Best High School in the Country". Exeter made me a thinker. It made me a listener. It made me unafraid to share my opinions. The Harkness Method of teaching, in which every class is a debate, a dialectic, or a discussion, was a foundational part of who I am now. 

And now, due to an ill-informed Change.org petition, the future of that is at risk.

I had no interest in watching a show about teen suicide. But after seeing so many articles praising the Netflix original, 13 Reasons Why, I decided to check it out. I mean, supposedly it was one of the best teen dramas of all time. 

The show was kind of boring and not that good. But it had its moments, and I was able to find some value in it. Including the controversial rape scene, which critics say was too graphic and emotional and explicit. 

I had the opposite reaction. This was exactly the rape scene that teen and preteen girls need to see.

"I'm socially awkward."

"I have, like, zero social skills."

"I don't want to go to the party because I never know what to do at parties."

We've all heard -- or even uttered -- such phrases. Maybe when you hear it, you feel sympathetic. But when I hear it, I feel slightly annoyed. "Socially awkward" is a choice. Saying you have "bad social skills," to me, sounds like saying, "I'm bad at basketball," when you haven't played since middle school.

In the last week, I've heard three different people claim that comparing yourself to others is somehow bad -- one even did it in a comment on my recent post, 3 Scientifically Proven Ways to STOP Caring What Others Think About You and Live a Happier Life.

But here's the thing. Comparing yourself to others, done correctly, is probably the best way to learn, improve, and build up your own confidence. Here's why:

Someone on Quora recently asked, Why do guys stare at me when I wear a sheer top? There's a reasonable possibility that it was a troll, given the question details ("guys have no right to go crazy over my sheer tops and beautiful pink bras")... But it's still an interesting topic that I think is worth discussing.