It's International Women's Day -- a day to fight injustices and celebrate the wonderful women in our lives. In honor of this special occasion, I wanted to share __ of my favorite posts about women -- in case you missed them. Learn, and enjoy! *** 1. Advantages of Traveling While Female.
A while back, Salon published an article called Dangers of traveling while female. While it sucks that women are sometimes harassed or threatened, I thought the article was complete bullshit. Because: 1) If you get raped, there's something like an 80% chance it's by a friend, boyfriend or acquaintance. 2) Traveling alone isn't scary. It's empowering. 3) Overall, people are awesome. They love meeting new people -- especially women, who are less threatening than men -- and exchanging cultures and stories. (Pro tip: bring along some pictures of your home and family. People ALWAYS ask to see them.) 4) You ever slept in the back of one of these:
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Let me start out by saying, in the words of MacArthur Genius and UPenn Professor Angela Ducksworth: People differ from one another on innumerable dimensions. Many traits follow a bell-shaped, or normal, distribution. Height, for instance. There are outliers, yes, but, even the very tallest man in the world is – at 8 foot 5 inches - only 1/3 taller than the average man. I'm not posting this to disparage your child's chances of success (though a little expectation management never hurt anyone). I'm posting it to help you help them maximize their chances for achievement and success.
The Palo Alto Unified School District is reeling after yet another student suicide. This tragedy has triggered conversations about academic pressure and mental health in this ruthlessly high-achieving area.
Suicide and mental health are incredibly complex issues. But let's be honest: the culture at Gunn and many surrounding schools is toxic. During my work as a college counselor and life coach, I heard some pretty depressing stories that were in no way reminiscent of my high school experience.
Before every holiday, I find myself saying, "I'm so excited! [Upcoming Holiday] is my favorite holiday!" Which is a much happier and more positive approach than the typical, "Ugh. I hate [Upcoming Holiday]! It's so commercialized!"
And although my favorite holiday, Halloween, just ended:
I tweeted this photo to @AllenIverson. Sadly, he did not tweet me back.
... People are already talking about the next holiday -- my favorite holiday! Thanksgiving!
But mostly what I'm hearing people talk about is Black Friday. It's natural to get swept up in sales and deals -- the world's best psychologists see to that. Many of us think buying things, whether for ourselves or others, can make us happy. (And, when done correctly, it actually can!) For others, it's a post-Thanksgiving tradition. Whether you love it or hate it, chances are you'll be doing some shopping between Thanksgiving and Christmas. And I want to help. If you're shopping for a girl age 4-12, here are the top eight things you should consider buying: 1. Slotwood. They're like life-size Lincoln Logs. Half of America's top graduates do the same six jobs after graduation. The reason why is depressing.8/4/2014
There's a perceived formula to "success" in today's world. We've all heard it:
You work hard in middle school so you can get into a good high school. Then you work hard in high school to get the grades, leadership roles and volunteer hours required to get into a good college -- often with the help of private tutors and coaches. Then you go to college so you can take the right classes and do the right extracurriculars to get a "good job" that pays well. It absolutely takes intelligence and hard work to shine in this environment. But at the end of the day, our nation's best and brightest have spent their first 22 years following instructions and jumping through hoops. Which is probably why teenagers and young adults are more anxious and depressed than ever. And also why the majority -- literally, the majority -- of graduates from America's top schools do one of six things: finance, consulting, law, medicine, Teach for America or grad school.
Last week, William Deresiewicz, author of Excellent Sheep: The Miseducation of the American Elite and the Way to a Meaningful Life, published a controversial piece in The New Republic. Don't Send Your Kid to the Ivy League basically claims that kids who go to top schools get turned into zombies.
He's right, a little. There are definitely kids at top-tier schools who are intense, hard-working memorizers, but pretty poor problem solvers. The problem is, Deresiewicz taught at an Ivy for many years, so these are the exact sorts of kids he was likely to interact with most. You know -- the self-selecting group that only cares about getting the A. The ones who hound TA's about what questions will and won't be on the exam. Who are more focused on performance than learning. The real inventors, innovators and creators at Ivy League schools are often too busy for office hours. They're too busy for the A. They're off exploring the world around them -- and identifying important energy, infrastructure and social problems along the way. They're turning the project they did for last semester's engineering class into a company. They're leading their volleyball or dance or debate or whatever-they're-passionate-about team to a national championship. Or playing in a rock show. Or taking advantage of one of the thousands of non-classroom opportunities available to them at a prestigious and well-endowed school. Deresiewicz's strongest point is that fewer and fewer kids who make it to the Ivies think this way. But here's what he got wrong: Good schools don't turn kids into zombies. Bad parents do. A few months ago, I was asked to answer this question on Quora:
"If you were a 17-year-old out of high school, what would you do with your life? I tested out of high school two years early, and lately I've just become so stuck and cynical of life. I don't know what I'm missing and why I'm stuck. I don't know where to move on to. I've been going to talk therapy once a week (which barely helps)." *** I'm not a licensed clinical psychologist or anything, but I do have a bachelor's and master's in psychology from Stanford. So here's my take on your situation, which is based on many assumptions that may or may not be true. You are a high-achieving individual. You are talented and gifted, and you worked hard enough to test out of high school two years early. That's really great. Congratulations on your achievements. BUT. There is a cost associated with your achievements. I recently published Boring People Lead Boring Lives, which discussed how passive entertainment stunts leisure skill development. I also wrote about the dangers of boredom: Boredom proneness is dangerous. It's associated with increased feelings of aggression (Rupp & Vodanovich, 1997; Dahen, 20004), anger, substance abuse (Rupp & Vodanovich, 1997), procrastination (Vodanovich & Rupp, 1999), shyness (Maroldo, 1986), coronary-prone and Type-A behavior (Kass & Vodanovich, 1990), depression, anxiety (Ahmed, 1990; Vodanovich, Verner & Gilbride, 1991) and low self-actualization (Vodanovich & Rupp, 1999).
I thought I'd follow up with a story about how iPads destroy creativity, curiosity... and even language and other cognitive skills.
The best way to give your child a creative, entrepreneurial mind (hint: you won't need flashcards)6/25/2014 I originally posted this as an answer to the question, How can I develop my child's curiosity? on Quora. When I'm around kids, I ask them questions all the time. The point is to make them wonder, to help them think critically. A lot of adults like to tell or teach kids things. In fact, I'll often ask a child a question, and a nearby adult will answer for/to the child. But I think it's better to ask, hypothesize and explore -- especially in response to a child's own question. For example: Child: "How do I draw a dog?" Adult: "That's a really great question, [child's name]! Where do you think we should start? What's the first part of the dog we should draw? Then what? Want to try it? We can always try again if we mess up." |
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Eva is a content specialist with a passion for play, travel... and a little bit of girl power. Read more >
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