Attention everyone: The Happy Talent (and Paved With Verbs) is in YourTango! I recently wrote 4 Reasons A Tutor is the WORST Thing You Can Do For Your Child -- and it's all based on my master's research and experience as a college admissions counselor and life coach.
Here's the gist of it -- there are four very powerful psychological reasons why your student shouldn't have a tutor. Unless, of course, they're legitimately struggling in an academic subject and need the extra help.
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My heart broke today when I learned about yet another teen suicide in Palo Alto. Looking through the comments on the article, as well as notes from recent community forums, it's clear that many parents and students in the PAUSD want to cap the number of APs a student can take -- or even eliminate APs altogether.
I haven't decided if that's a good idea or not. But, through my experience working and studying with admissions officers at Stanford, as well as working as a college admissions counselor, I have decided one thing:
Last week, William Deresiewicz, author of Excellent Sheep: The Miseducation of the American Elite and the Way to a Meaningful Life, published a controversial piece in The New Republic. Don't Send Your Kid to the Ivy League basically claims that kids who go to top schools get turned into zombies.
He's right, a little. There are definitely kids at top-tier schools who are intense, hard-working memorizers, but pretty poor problem solvers. The problem is, Deresiewicz taught at an Ivy for many years, so these are the exact sorts of kids he was likely to interact with most. You know -- the self-selecting group that only cares about getting the A. The ones who hound TA's about what questions will and won't be on the exam. Who are more focused on performance than learning. The real inventors, innovators and creators at Ivy League schools are often too busy for office hours. They're too busy for the A. They're off exploring the world around them -- and identifying important energy, infrastructure and social problems along the way. They're turning the project they did for last semester's engineering class into a company. They're leading their volleyball or dance or debate or whatever-they're-passionate-about team to a national championship. Or playing in a rock show. Or taking advantage of one of the thousands of non-classroom opportunities available to them at a prestigious and well-endowed school. Deresiewicz's strongest point is that fewer and fewer kids who make it to the Ivies think this way. But here's what he got wrong: Good schools don't turn kids into zombies. Bad parents do.
Women are spectacular. There are so many great things about them... and some bad things. Which are really things that are true for all people, but get confirmation biased onto women.
Which is why I asked Quora, What do girls wish girls knew? The answers were inspiring... but it took me about a year to come up with my one of my own. And not for lack of trying. And now, I'm finally sharing it here. (If you like this, be sure to check out Advantages of traveling while female and 6 Articles You Have to Read About Women Right Now.)
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I get the sense that a lot of girls (and women) think that spending time with a guy they have no intention of sleeping with is "leading him on." As though the only reason a man would spend time with them is for their body... This is absolutely not true. You are worth spending time with for the person you are. For the laughs you will share. For the knowledge and insights you can provide. For your crazy ideas -- and your willingness to follow through with them. When I've traveled, I've met lots of men I spent hours or days with in a completely nonsexual way. And even though many of them would have appreciated it if I were willing to do stuff with them, I'm sure that not a single one would have chosen to have sex with some random chick in a hostel over staying up to watch the sunset at 4am (or rent a motorboat, or scuba dive, or ride scooters, or whatever) with me. H/t Salon Yup, you read that right. Kardinal Kink is a new Stanford club whose members "get off" on nipple clamps, ball gags and... excellent knot tying.
And they probably have the healthiest sex on campus. A few months ago, I was asked to answer this question on Quora:
"If you were a 17-year-old out of high school, what would you do with your life? I tested out of high school two years early, and lately I've just become so stuck and cynical of life. I don't know what I'm missing and why I'm stuck. I don't know where to move on to. I've been going to talk therapy once a week (which barely helps)." *** I'm not a licensed clinical psychologist or anything, but I do have a bachelor's and master's in psychology from Stanford. So here's my take on your situation, which is based on many assumptions that may or may not be true. You are a high-achieving individual. You are talented and gifted, and you worked hard enough to test out of high school two years early. That's really great. Congratulations on your achievements. BUT. There is a cost associated with your achievements. |
About the Author
Eva is a content specialist with a passion for play, travel... and a little bit of girl power. Read more >
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