In the Name of Following My Own Advice, I Played My First Original at an Open Mic

This is a blog about playfulness, social skills and self-expression. I've mocked the idea of "expressing yourself" by wearing certain clothes, instead of creating or doing. Meanwhile, I'd been writing songs for over a year, without ever really sharing them with anyone...

Until now.

Not only did I get up in front of people and play something I wrote... but now, I'm also sharing it on my blog.

Even though there are several mistakes, and I'm definitely not singing as well as I normally do.

Even though it's not the "highest quality" recording. (Someone made this on his phone.)

Even though it's "supposed" to be played with a second guitar part and two vocal harmonies.

Because what's the point of giving advice if you don't take the advice yourself, right? Chances are, whatever you're working on is never going to be perfect -- and that's not necessarily a good reason not to share it. 

Thought's Not the Same as Knew (The Toothbrush Song) is about the things we say vs. the things we want to say, and why those things really should be the same.

Here are the words, for those who want to follow along (I always do):

I
I found your things when I cleaned my place
Thought I'd message you just in case
I'm headed out sometime after four
Come by tonight, they'll be at my door


You're running early, I'm running late
Cruel chance, or twist of fate?
Small talk about my day
Here's what I really want to say:


II
Do you still have my toothbrush by your sink?
Do you still smile about me when you think?
Think it'd be different if we tried again?
And if we blow it, then, what then?

Spoken: Did you read that thing on TechCrunch about AirBnb? Seriously - when is the bubble going to pop?!

Do you still have my hair ties in your car?
Where do you go to dance beneath the stars?
Think we'd do better in the second round,
Re find those feelings that we found?

Spoken: Can you believe this weather? It’s been SOOOO hot, and it hasn’t even rained yet. Ugh.

Remember the night we shared that cup of tea?
​Do you still have the one you bought for me?
But I'll be careful of the words I choose,
Until I'm certain of your views.

Spoken: Nina’s birthday is coming up, and I have NO idea what to get her. I mean, what do you get someone who has everything?

I

A lot of small talk, it's time to leave
Should I have told you? Am I naive?
Enough of small talk, it's time to go
I'll never know what I want to know
( never know, never know)

III

Once you asked how to know
When you're really in love
I said whoa - you don't know?
That's so hard to think of
'cause
When it's love, you can feel, you just know

Time went by, feelings grew! I thought you really liked me – or more!
But thought’s not the same as knew.
Now I’ve changed, now I know why you were so confused
cuz
Part of loving’s knowing they love you, too

Spoken: Did you know?

II

When you sat silently the other day
were you
looking for courage, or just something to say?
I’m scared to ask you if we’re really through
I’ll just keep looking for a clue

Like

Do you still have my toothbrush by the sink?
Do you still smile about me when you think?
Let’s share our feelings, darling, but you go first
I think not knowing is the worst.

'Cause thought's not the same as knew.