Women Are Dying Their Hair (Down There) Hot Pink for Valentine's Day

​It's mid-January, meaning those few retailers that didn't have their Valentine's Day displays up by January 2, definitely do now.

This year, in addition to chocolates and candies, many couples are celebrating... with festive pubes. 
​

Betty Beauty is a specially-formulated product "For The Hair Down There." It comes in Hot Pink, Red, Aqua Blue, and Lilac -- as well as natural colors, like Brown and Black (to cover grays).  

I think this is hilarious and awesome -- what a crazy Valentine's Day surprise! It's way more memorable than a box of chocolates, with less potential for disaster than the Love is Art Canvas and Paint Kit (it's "abstract art" through intimacy).

Betty Beauty is a two-step process: the first involves bleaching (so the dye will actually work), and the second involves coloring. The whole thing takes about thirty minutes.

The company's back story is kind of interesting. According to their website,

"Sitting in a hair salon in Rome a few years ago, I made a discovery. As I saw women leaving the salon, I couldn’t help noticing that some would linger by the door. After a few minutes, their colorist would come back with a little paper bag, hand it to them and send them cheerfully on their way.

When I inquired about this mysterious ritual, the receptionist said: “Per sotto, per farli combaciare,” meaning: “For the hair down there...to make it match.” I thought, “How genius... A home coloring kit for the hair down there!” I knew there were no specialized products like this in America.

Obviously, all blondes in the world want to be true blondes. Redheads and dark-haired women, their natural true color, too. I couldn’t get the idea out of my mind.

Back in New York, I told a salon-owner friend about it. She responded, “I’m sure my clients would love a product like this, and I’d use it myself!” Not only did she like the idea of matching her chestnut brown hair, but also - she confessed - she desperately needed to cover some grays she’d recently discovered down there!

My next stop was to ask a gynecologist friend to estimate the percentage of her clients whose hair down there didn’t match the hair on their heads. As it turned out, almost no one matched!"

What's not to dig about female entrepreneurship?

​And, yes, it's tested and safe. It's formulated for sensitive skin and the "hair down there." The no-drip formula does not contain ammonia or parabens. It works on all hair colors, and lasts 4-5 weeks.

However, according to a study published in the journal JAMA Dermatology, though, up to 62% of women might not "qualify" for Betty Beauty. This is the percentage of women in the study who reported going "completely bare."

Weirdly, the study found that, while some women groom to facilitate sexual activity, the majority said they did so for hygiene.

It's sad that women think their own natural bodies are somehow gross or unclean -- and that they are probably just as likely as men to perpetuate "oppressive" beauty standards.

For example, Victoria Beckham, formerly Posh Spice from the Spice Girls -- whose thing was feminism and girl power -- announced in 2003 that Brazilian waxes should be "compulsory," starting at age 15.

​In other words, this scowly bitch (like, literally -- she doesn’t like to be seen smiling) thinks it's cool to force little girls (and unwilling adults) to strip down and pay $60 to have someone cause physical pain to their genitals. Because... feminism?

So much for girl power.

The truth is, there is no health benefit to waxing or shaving pubic hair -- though there are some risks.

Pubic hair functions as a protective cushion for sensitive skin, and has its own hygienic purpose, trapping bacteria and preventing it from entering the vaginal opening. Moreover, the New York Times reports:

"Dr. Rowen, an assistant professor at the University of California San Francisco School of Medicine, is concerned about grooming’s prevalence both because of a spate of health problems linked to it, and because of what it may suggest about women’s self-image.

She and other doctors have seen grooming-related cases of folliculitis, abscesses, lacerations, allergic reactions to waxing burns, as well as vulvar and vaginal infections. One study has noted that 3 percent of emergency room visits for genitourinary trauma are a result of grooming."

Three percent is kind of a lot. But, on the bright side, pubic lice, or “crabs,” may be going extinct in the U.S.

Personally, I think completely hairless is kind of weird. First, think of all the time, money and effort you’d have to put into it. I just don't see the point. $50 a month is $600 per year. That's enough for a lot of dance lessons -- you could have no pubes, or you could be a proficient swing dancer. That's enough for an entry-level mountain bike. That's enough for a tropical vacation, or even just an epic journey to a national park. Not to mention all the time it takes to drive to and from the waxing place and have the procedure done. (Or just awkwardly shave your intimate bits.)

Second… who wants to think about prepubescence during sexytime? Unless you're doing some kind of underage role play thing...?

Third, it’s way too depressing to think about how grossed out and ashamed so many women are of their bodies. The idea that you need to eliminate a normal part of yourself to not be "gross" is just... sad. 

Which is why I love Betty Beauty! It’s a fun way to celebrate natural bodies, be silly with your partner… or just make sure the carpets match the drapes.