Go Ahead and Let Your Tween Dress "Slutty" for Halloween - Just Make Her Build the Costume Herself10/2/2015
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I am so on-board with the whole "teach men not to rape" thing, it's not even funny. It's something I wrote about in The Stanford Kink Klub Has The Healthiest Sex on Campus - Here's Why, and again in The Secret "Catcalls" of Educated White Men - My Problem With "Pickup Artists." It's not because I "hate men" -- it's because I think a lot of men sincerely do not understand the definition of rape. They honestly don't get that getting a woman intoxicated and taking advantage of her is illegal. They honestly don't understand that trying something sexually, over and over, until she gives up and stops saying no (quite possibly because she's now very intimidated) -- but still hasn't said yes! -- is an ambiguous form of sexual assault.
But you know what I'm not on-board with? People who get offended by well-meaning advice about how to avoid getting raped. Because you know what? An inevitable part of rape culture is that women learn dysfunctional behaviors that increase their likelihood of being taken advantage of -- starting at a very young age. For example, being polite. Girls are taught to be polite, often with disastrous results. No one says it better than Tina Fey in The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt. After being abducted and locked in a bunker for fifteen years, Kimmy Schmidt and three other survivors appear on the Today show. Matt Lauer asks one of the women about her kidnapping. She replies, I had waited on Reverend Richard at a York Steak House I worked at, and one night he invited me out to his car to see some baby rabbits, and I didn’t want to be rude, so…here we are.
I recently finished watching The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, a new show on Netflix about a woman who was kidnapped by an evil reverend and held underground for fifteen years with three other women. The show begins with their rescue - after which the four "Indiana Mole Women" appear on the Today Show, with Matt Lauer.
During the interview, Lauer asks each woman how she ended up in the bunker. One woman, Cyndee, recounted: I had waited on Reverend Richard at a York Steak House I worked at, and one night he invited me out to his car to see some baby rabbits, and I didn’t want to be rude, so…here we are. It's International Women's Day -- a day to fight injustices and celebrate the wonderful women in our lives. In honor of this special occasion, I wanted to share __ of my favorite posts about women -- in case you missed them. Learn, and enjoy! *** 1. Advantages of Traveling While Female.
A while back, Salon published an article called Dangers of traveling while female. While it sucks that women are sometimes harassed or threatened, I thought the article was complete bullshit. Because: 1) If you get raped, there's something like an 80% chance it's by a friend, boyfriend or acquaintance. 2) Traveling alone isn't scary. It's empowering. 3) Overall, people are awesome. They love meeting new people -- especially women, who are less threatening than men -- and exchanging cultures and stories. (Pro tip: bring along some pictures of your home and family. People ALWAYS ask to see them.) 4) You ever slept in the back of one of these:
I guess I should warn you that there are some disturbing images later in this article.
Catcalling is gross and shitty. I can't even begin to fathom why someone would do such a thing -- you know, unless it's one of those non-stranger, consensual sort of catcall situations. The issue was recently captured in a viral video created by Hollaback!, a non-profit and movement to end street harassment:
Different groups are upset for all kinds of different reasons. Some object to calling this street harassment -- especially because the girl in the video is wearing "tight pants," or because, "Hey, beautiful," is actually a nice compliment.
This week, Playboy published an amazing new flowchart: Should You Catcall Her? It's absolutely fantastic. In short, even if that booty's bangin' and she's dressed real nice, you shouldn't catcall a woman unless she's someone you know who has explicitly given you her consent to shout sexually suggestive comments to her in public. Thank you, Playboy. Want to learn more about catcalling? Check out The Secret "Catcalls" of Educated White People (And My Problem With "Pickup Artists"). H/t Salon Yup, you read that right. Kardinal Kink is a new Stanford club whose members "get off" on nipple clamps, ball gags and... excellent knot tying.
And they probably have the healthiest sex on campus. |
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Eva is a content specialist with a passion for play, travel... and a little bit of girl power. Read more >
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