New Year's Eve Sucks. Here's Why I Celebrate New MONTH'S Eve, Instead.

I'm optimistic to a fault, and (as I'm always saying)  every holiday is my favorite holiday. (Even President's Day.) Except one. You know what holiday I actually kind of hate?

New Year's Eve. 

It's a stupid holiday! I know I always say that everything is what you make it, and that boring people lead boring lives. I try to make the best of it. But NYE is almost ALWAYS a disappointment. (With all the build-up and high expectations, though, how could it be anything but a disappointment? After all: the key to disappointment is high expectations.)

Music so loud you have to SCREAM AT, rather than talk to, each other. Alcohol-focused parties and events. And the infamously laughable "New Year's Resolution."

SMART goal setting is something that is not, but should be, explicitly taught in schools. Basically, the concept is that a wise goal is:

• Specific. What exactly do you want to achieve? (Who? What? When? Where? Why?)
• Measurable. What's the first thing you need to do? How will you know when you're halfway there? How will you know when you're there?
  • Alternatively, some people say Meaningful. Why exactly is this goal important to you? But I prefer measurable.
• Achievable. There is no point to setting an impossible goal -- though, of course, it should be challenging.
• Relevant. How does this goal tie-in to your identity, key responsibilities or life objectives?
• Time-bound. Successful goal-setters always set at least one "target date." Think back on your Measurables. Now ask, "By when?"

The problem with most New Year's resolutions is that they aren't necessarily Specific, and are hardly ever Time-bound. Which is why so many people fail. Which is why we have memes like these:

You get the idea. 

​This is exactly why I celebrate New Month's, rather than New Year's, Eve. 

First of all, because it happens twelve times per  year, instead of once, there's no pressure. No expectations. No way you can possibly be disappointed. 

Second, psychology research shows that humans thrive when they have something (even something small) to look forward to. Which is kind of how the placebo effect works. Make it a group effort -- tell some of your closest friends (or fellow "regulars") about New Month's Eve, and put it on your calendars. Every 30th/31st/28th/29th, get together for karaoke. Board games. Or even a New Month's Eve book club! (More on that later.)

Third, if you actually want to set goals for yourself, you're much more likely to achieve them if you hold yourself accountable on a monthly, rather than yearly, basis. If you celebrate New Month's Eve, your goals will be time-bound. You have thirty-ish days to accomplish something specific, even if it's a "by when?" rather than a "what." 

If you make the effort social, as previously suggested, you are taking a step towards holding yourself accountable. When you gather with your friends to celebrate New Month's Eve, go ahead and discuss your resolutions. 

Was your goal to go to the gym once per week? It's been four weeks -- have you been to the gym four times?
Did you want to shave thirty seconds off your 5k time? It's been a month -- did you?
You wanted to eliminate words like "just," "I think," and "sorry" from your emails -- did you?

Or did you have a different New Month's Resolution? Perhaps you and your friends decided that it would be good to learn something new each month. Perhaps through great non-fiction. Perhaps through self-improvement. Either way, your NME party would be a great time to discuss! If I were going to recommend twelve amazing books to educate, self-improve and inspire, they would include the following:

​The Charisma Myth: How Anyone Can Master the Art and Science of Personal Magnetism, by Olivia Fox Cabane. No matter how good your people skills are, you are sure to learn something valuable in this book. One of the most important concepts to me, personally, was the one of cognitive reframing. Not only will it make people like you more... but it will make you a happier, healthier person. 

The Dorito Effect: The Surprising New Science of Food and Flavor, by Mark Schatzker. I listened to this book to learn about the biology, psychology and genetics of flavor. Inspired and amazed, I wrote several blog posts about The Dorito Effect. And! In addition to arming me with all sorts of interresting knowledge -- all backed up by real science research -- it also made me much more mindful of what I was eating, what my body was craving, and why.

The Life-Changing Science of Tidying Up: The Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organizing, by Marie Kondo. Science PROVES that creative people... tend to have messier rooms. Science also proves that messier rooms make us feel more stressed. Either way, who doesn't wish they had a slightly tidier home? In this book, Kondo teaches another important life skill that is not taught to most children -- either in school or by their parents. From an early age, our parents have told us to "go clean your room." But no one ever told us how. There is an art and a science to it. This book is a quick, yet highly informative, read. You can use the rest of the time you allotted for reading... to acting on Kondo's advice.

Creativity, Inc.: Overcoming the Unseen Forces That Stand in the Way of True Innovation, by Ed Catmull. If you want to learn about creativity, probably the best possible teacher is Ed Catmull, a co-founder (with Steve Jobs and John Lasseter) of Pixar Animation Studios. No one does creativity like Pixar. Whether you have a professional goal of becoming a better manager, a personal goal of becoming more creative, or an intellectual goal of learning more about how great companies work, you'll love the candor and authenticity in this book. 

F*ck Feelings: One Shrink's Practical Advice for Managing All Life's Impossible Problems, by Michael Bennett, MD, and Sarah Bennett. One of the most important things I ever learned in any of my Stanford psychology classes was that rumination (which, in psychology, means falling into a negative thought pattern and feeling unable to stay present because you're too busy thinking about negative stuff) is the worst thing possible. In this book, Bennett, a clinical psychiatrist, writes that many psychologists tell you to dig deep into your past and relive your childhood traumas and failed relationships. But that's actually the opposite of what most people need. They need help accepting their flaws; recognizing when they're falling into a negative thought pattern; and learning how to escape from that vortex. This book was co-written by Bennett's daughter, who is a comedian, so there's a lot of humor, and a healthy dose of swearing. You'll either love this book, or hate it.  

Save The Cat! The Last Book on Screenwriting You'll Ever Need, by Blake Snyder. This is one book I will never stop recommending -- whether you want to write a movie or not. I didn't -- I only bought the book because I read an article on Slate about how almost every successful blockbuster that's come out since this book was published... is based almost exactly minute-by-minute on the advice in this book. Whoever you are, whatever your goals, this book will make your more creative. It will make you a better, clearer writer. And. You will enjoy movies more. Understanding how movies work increases your mindfulness and appreciation of the movie.

How to Raise an Adult: Break Free of the Overparenting Trap and Prepare Your Kids for Success, by Julie Lythcott-Haims. This is a book I would probably recommend even if you don't​ have kids, as it points out some very toxic parenting trends that are hurting our kids chances of success. Lythcott-Haims was a dean at Stanford for several years, where she realized that many of our nations "best and brightest" were depressed, anxious, frail, and lacked basic life skills like resilience, risk management, passion and meaning. This is obviously a problem I've thought a lot about -- I even launched a company, Paved With Verbs College Counseling and Life Coaching for Gifted Youth, to try to address these problems.

What I Wish I Knew When I Was 20: A Crash Course on Making Your Place in the World, by Tina Seelig. Again, this is a book I would recommend even if you aren't twenty. Seelig is a creative genius, and this book will help you figure out how to tap into your own creativity -- while helping you overcome the anxiety, fear and doubts that often accompany life changes. After all, "It's always a mammoth challenge to separate your desire to make something work from the reality of the probability that it will work."

Counterclockwise: Mindful Health and the Power of Possibility, by Ellen Langer. Ellen Langer is one of THE COOLEST psychologists out there. Her research focuses on mindfulness -- and how your mindset and mindfulness alone can decrease your blood pressure, stress, anxiety, BMI (!!!). Mindfulness is the key to happiness -- but it's also the placebo effect for everyday life. This book will explain how.

Thinking, Fast and Slow, by Daniel Kahneman. This book came out a few years ago, and won more awards than it makes sense to list here. Basically, it walks you through the two main "systems" of human thinking: "System 1," which is fast, intuitive, and emotional; and "System 2," which is slower, more deliberative, and more logical. Once you recognize the strengths and weaknesses of these systems, you can harness their power in your personal and professional life. 

​The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to be and Embrace Who You Are, by Brene Brown. A lesson on "wholehearted living." This book will help you start (or accelerate) your journey to improve your courage, compassion and connection -- the tools for developing love, belonging and worthiness. Daily exercises will help you make deliberate and inspired choices about your life. It's not necessarily for everyone... but it could change your life. 

Savor: Mindful Eating, Mindful Life, by Thich Nhat Hanh. I mentioned earlier that The Dorito Effect accidentally made me a healthier, more mindful eater. Savor will do it intentionally. Whether you struggle with your weight or just want to slow down, eat healthier, and enjoy your food (and life) more, this book could be transformational. Besides, research shows that most diets don't work, because they are a temporary change to what you're eating. Mindful eating isn't a diet -- it is a new way of thinking about your food.

Honorable mentions include Wreck This Journal, by Keri Smith (which was personally recommended to me by the author of The Truth Beyond the Sky); Smart People Should Build Things: How to Restore Our Culture of Achievement, Build a Path for Entrepreneurs and Create New Jobs in America, by Andrew Yang (no matter what their age, every person I've ever recommended this book to later told me, "I wish I'd read it ten years ago!"); and A Short History of Nearly Everything, by Bill Bryson (it never hurts to understand more about the world around you -- and no one explains science better than Bill Bryson).

Whether you're planning on celebrating each new month of 2016 to hold yourself accountable for resolutions, or you just think it would be a fun little way to celebrate with friends each month, I am certain that, at this time next year, you will look back on your 12 NME celebrations with a pretty huge smile.