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"It is a happy talent to know how to play."

The Most Offensive Thing I EVER Wore While Traveling (Just Thinking About It Makes Me Cringe)

2/7/2020

7 Comments

 
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You'd think, from the hysterical way white dudes drinking cheap beer at hostel bars tell white women they need to "cover up" while traveling, that I'd've offended someone by now.

(I mean, other than said white dudes. They, like certain parts of certain cultures, do not deserve my respect.)

But no! No bikini, shorts, or tank top I've worn has ever offended a local -- in fact, most seem absolutely delighted for the chance to chat, question, or take a photo with me. Especially the women. 

But... there is one thing I wore once that was​ super offensive, and just thinking about it makes me cringe. 

​I was in Maui, staying with my family at the most amazing bed and breakfast. Vi and Boogie were locals with incredible stories and knowledge about the island. There was excellent snorkeling right off the rocks in front of their house, and a good surfing beach about a mile down the road.
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Different AirBnb. Same idea. 

​One day, I finished up a surf session and found several gorgeous leis washed up on the beach. They were fantastic — more beautiful than anything I’d seen for sale in any of the shops. So my brother, my sister, and I each put one on -- I think we even grabbed a few for our mom -- and began walking back to Vi and Boogie’s.

Along the way, we passed a church on our left. Dozens of people were standing outside… and I kind of felt like one or two of them were glaring at us -- which, as I wrote in Here's How One Pretty Woman Deals With The "Constant Stares and Compliments" From Men, is not a normal way that I feel. Even after six weeks in Costa Rica, it wasn't until a dude I was traveling with mentioned that men were honking at me that I realized Ticos don't just use their horns a lot for no reason.

Yes. I very much felt like they were staring at us.

Then I very much felt like they were whispering to their friends about us.

Then I felt like the entire church yard was glaring. All conversation had stopped, and my family and I froze like deer in headlights.


Finally, one woman stormed across the road and said to us, “Excuse me. We are having a funeral. As part of our tradition, we throw leis into the ocean to honor the deceased. You need to give those back.”

I don’t embarrass easily… but that will haunt me to the day I die.
7 Comments
Scotsman23
2/10/2020 12:55:06 pm

"You'd think, from the hysterical way WHITE dudes drinking cheap beer at hostel bars"
Eva


White woman status signals by demonstrating societally approved bigotry against white males. I like the dig at the cheap beer. See these men were not drinking craft beer, sangrias, wine, soy lattes, or mimosas with a hip gay guy and an Asian yoga chick at a boozy brunch. Anti white bigotry is often mixed with such class snobbery.

White people who hate other white people are pathetic: https://twitter.com/TweetBrettMac/status/1225583291568467968

Reply
Eva Glasrud link
2/10/2020 03:01:55 pm

Sweetie, you are being WAY too sensitive.

That said, I suppose I *have* mistakenly made the assumption that others have traveled as much as I, and therefore have the context to understand that first sentence. Let me break it down for you:

1. Yes, it is exclusively white males who I've seen tell white women to "cover up" while traveling in conservative countries. If it were black men, for example, I'd be the first to say so (as you'd know if you'd read a single other blog post of mine -- and group, religion, idea, or ideology should stand up to criticism, and I don't consider and of these too "sacred" to criticize).

2. Really, the odds of a black/brown/other not-white tourist telling me to "cover up" are extremely low, considering most tourists are either white (European, American, Canadian, Australian) or Chinese.

3. They are drinking cheap beer because THERE IS NO "craft beer" in the types of countries that embrace shit like sharia law. Sometimes, you can find wine, but that's usually at the duty free shop in the airport. (Gotta plan ahead if you want to make a fancy toast.)

4. I don't do brunch -- I surf and mountain bike -- so I'm not sure I can comment on that clause.

5. It sounds like you've got some kind of beef with social justice warriors, which is why it's kind of amusing you've had such a strong gut reaction to this. The POINT is that, from my perspective (and that of many, many ex-muslims and feminists who actually care about women's rights), hijab and other body-covering sacks ARE rape culture. The dudes I'm describing in that sentence aren't Red State Republicans. They're brainless Bernie bros who think they're being "progressive" by "including" certain marginalized groups... by excluding women.

6. I think we can at least agree that bigotry is bigotry, no matter what. You REALLY need to thicken your skin a bit if you're going to fly off the handle like that when someone AGREES with you.

Reply
Scotsman23
2/10/2020 04:12:09 pm

Fair enough. I don't agree with everything in your post but I don't want to argue. I hate the normalized anti white bigotry in our culture.

https://www.reddit.com/r/samharris/comments/70ram9/i_wonder_why_salon/

https://nationalfile.com/california-why-dont-we-murder-more-white-people-film-aired-by-arts-center/

So when I see any negative reference to white people I'm a little on edge. If your not racist against whites then it's all good. Have a good day.

Eva Glasrud link
2/11/2020 11:25:02 am

We can definitely agree on that. Also annoying: when a white person has an opinion that conflicts with a "woke" person's opinion, it's automatically either "white supremacy" or "white fragility."

Zane
2/13/2020 06:50:28 pm

I can't believe that was resolved so peacefully. Am I still on the internet, or in some kind of twilight zone of the internet? Good job.

Reply
Amy
7/13/2020 11:56:46 am

Yikes! I am cringing for you from here! You should leave instructions to throw some leis in the ocean for some kids to find at your own funeral lol!

Reply
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    Eva is a content specialist with a passion for play, travel... and a little bit of girl power.  Read more >


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