So I saw this funny video on my newsfeed last night. Though I enjoyed watching it, it also made me a little sad. Like... Watch it. What man actually thinks the first guy would ever get a woman's number?
It's sad that some guy would watch this and think, "Yeah! You go, bro!" without acknowledging a few important points. Like.
1. The first dude looks creepy and weird. The second dude is well-dressed and presentable.
The first guy is literally dressed like a clown. He's wearing plaid pajama pants, a weird Hawaiian shirt, and a wool hat.
In, like, LA or something. You can tell by how other people in the video are dressed that it's a warm day. Who wears a wool hat on a hot day?
And this guy.
As a woman, when I see this guy coming at me, I think two things: mental health issue, or drug dealer.
Of course he's not getting my number!
2. The first dude's opening line is, "Hey, you're pretty cute! Can I get your number?" That... is a non-opener.
Look, man. Just because you think I'm cute, doesn't mean you're getting my number. Like... do we actually have anything in common? What would we do or talk about? You don't know a thing about me.
YOU DIDN'T EVEN ASK FOR MY NAME!!!!!
Say I did give you my number. Would you just put me down in your address book as, "Blond girl in black dress from coffee shop?"
No. You're not getting my fucking number.
See also: Interesting Ways to Start a Conversation That Aren't "Hi" or "Hey"
3. No means no, motherfucker.
I didn't say you can't have my number because I wanted you to keep pestering me until I relented. I said no because I don't want to give some weird stranger my number.
If I can't trust you to take no for an answer in this public, low-level situation, can I really trust you to respect that no means no in a private or intimate setting?
Plus, you're a drug dealer. So, no.
For more, check out: Why Most People Suck at Saying No, And How You Can Start Improving TODAY.
And remember, ladies -- if you don't learn how to say no, you might end up in a bunker:
4. The second guy's opening line was, "Hey, how's it going? Is anyone sitting here? Mind if I join you?"
So not only does this guy not look like Asian Jesse Pinkman... but he's also much more polite. And rather than dehumanizing me by saying, "I don't care about your name. You're pretty enough that I'd fuck you, so gimme your number".......
He'd actually like to chat with me before asking me out.
Imagine that! Treating a woman like an actual human being!
5. The second guy didn't ask for some stranger's number -- he chatted with her, then asked her out on an actual date.
He suggested a date. He picked a time (later tonight) and an activity (cocktails).
Of course, I've previously written that I Judge Guys Who Ask Me Out For Drinks (though, if I liked him enough, I would have countered with, "How about we play basketball instead?"). But, honestly... does this look like the kind of girl who wants to go skateboarding or ball out on her first date?
I'll bet she loves drinks!
6. After the first guy takes off all his weird clown clothes, he's actually kind of cute.
They say you can't judge a book by its cover. But let's be real. When you know absolutely nothing about someone except that they just asked you for your number, all you have to judge that person by is their looks.
It's possible -- though unlikely -- that the reason this girl changed her mind is because it turns out he's not creepy and ugly.
Yeah, she's probably more interested in the car than the driver's haircut.
But given points 1-5, can anyone really blame her for rejecting this guy the first time around?
And this, my friends, is why "lived experience" and "autoethnography" are sort of bullshit.
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Eva is a content specialist with a passion for play, travel... and a little bit of girl power. Read more >
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