Yesterday, I wrote about how there's a difference between helping a depressed friend and enabling an abuser. My intention was to inform those whose friends suffer from mental illness to be compassionate... but remember to think critically about your actions and the effects they may have on your friend and his/her partner.
Today, I'm writing a quick reminder to those who are, or may be, affected by mental illness:
Your partner is not your emotional slave.
My background is in psychology -- but not abnormal or relationship psychology. (I studied adult playfulness!) I want to acknowledge that before I start, because this is far from my area of expertise.
But I just saw some of THE MOST FUCKED UP SHIT on Facebook, and it prompted an important realization:
There is a difference between helping a depressed friend and enabling an abuser.
The difference is consent.
It's Christmas -- so let the "annual debate" about Baby, It's Cold Outside commence.
Image: @TheHappyTalent on Instagram
Last night, I debuted my first-ever original Christmas song -- and, a few mistakes notwithstanding, it went pretty well!
Which is funny, because when I decided to write a Christmas song, I thought there was about a 1% chance I'd create something that wasn't embarrassingly awful and cheesy.
So how did I do it?
I tied a hand behind my back.
Manners are great -- when appropriate.
But there is a time and a place for everything.
One of the most ridiculous (not rediculous) things you hear about dating is the absurd claim that "girls like jerks" and "nice guys finish last."
The reality is that, sure. Some girls like guys who are kinda jerks. But they don't like them because they're jerks. They like them in spite of it.
Most likely because they have so much else to offer.
We've all heard dudes lament that flirting/hitting on girls/commenting on women's bodies is "only creepy when the guy is unattractive."
Some women boldly declare the same.
Today's Women Feel Less Control Over Their Bodies Than Their Grandmas Did... Because of Smartphones.
Smartphones connect us in so many ways. They stunt us in so many others.
So I went to this super epic camping party this weekend. (Just an hour from home, too -- I love discovering new adventures right in my own backyard.) There were burgers, guitars, and beautiful harmonies. I was just about to debut my new song, "Expats Are Expats for a Reason," when one of the trip organizers made an announcement:
We were to gather around the fire for group storytime. And during this storytime, I realized that if you're a feminist guy or a male ally or whatever... you kind of just can't win.
I’ve made, like, five new friends this month, just from flying on airplanes. I find it basically impossible not to meet cool people on airplanes, unless I actively choose not to (which I do, sometimes -- airplanes are also one place where I’m tremendously productive).
This has always been the case for me, and it's one of the best things about flying. Beyond learning interesting stuff about women's health, self-driving cars, forestry, and so much more... I've learned at least one important life lesson from which we can all benefit:
Too often, we don’t start a conversation… because we don’t know how. We all needlessly miss opportunities because we think we need some sort of “pickup line”... when, really, we don’t.
About the Author
Eva is a content specialist with a passion for play, travel... and a little bit of girl power. Read more >
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