The Weeks Before And After Valentine's Day Are Peak Breakup Season. That Is a GOOD Thing.

It's ALWAYS better not to be with the wrong person.

Guys. I love Valentine's Day and have written extensively about how it's the BEST holiday. (But so is Christmas, and so is Thanksgiving, and so is Halloween.)

Valentine's Day Heart-On. Image: The Happy Talent

 
I've written blog posts and songs about how we should live every single day like it's Valentine's Day... and a sad little reminder that this might be your grandma's last Valentine's Day, so you should try to make it extra special for her. ​I've even discussed how singles can have an epic and unforgettable Valentine's Day.

But you know what I've never said, that I totally should have? 

It is GREAT that people break up so much before and after Valentine's Day, because it is ALWAYS BETTER to break up with the wrong person than to stay with them.

Earlier this year, I read Where The Crawdads Sing — while visiting the Outer Banks. (It's always more fun to read as much nonfiction, historical fiction, and even just plain fiction about the places you're traveling; it makes the experience so much more immersive.) There was a poem in the book that I liked so much, I actually recited it before my New Year's Eve show at the Scallop Republic.

I must let go now.

​Let you go.

Love is too often

The answer for staying.

Too seldom the reason

For going.

I drop the line

And watch you drift away.


-- Delia Owens, Where the Crawdads Sing

​ 

 
I read it because it was New Year's Eve -- time to turn over a new leaf. Time to out with the old, in with the new. But the same is true now, for Valentine's Day.

​Love is too seldom the reason for going. 

I've talked to several divorced people who told me that they were significantly more lonely while they were married than they are now that they're single. I've talked to many teens and adults who told me that they wish their parents would get (or would have gotten) divorced, but they know their parents are staying together "for the kids' sake."

But parents. Your kids want you to be happy, not miserable and lonely. Or, as Louis CK says, "Divorce is ALWAYS good news I know that sounds weird, but it's true because no good marriage has ever ended in divorce. That would be sad. If two people were married and ... they just had a great thing and then they got divorced, that would be really sad. But that has happened zero times."."

(Another great insight here, which I'll save for another day: "There was a big dance thing at our school. And we all went, all the parents. And everyone's there, and everyone's got their phone. Every single parent. It was an amazing thing to watch. Because kids are dancing, and every parent is standing there like this. Every parent -- every single parent -- was blocking their vision of their actual child with their phone. And the kids! I went over by the stage, and there were people holding iPads in front of their faces! The kids couldn't even see their parents' faces... Everyone was watching this shitty movie of something that's happening ten feet away. Look at your fucking kid! The resolution on the kid is unbelievable if you just look. It's like, totally HD.")

This is why, every show and open mic I've done this month, I've opened by saying, "Valentine's Day is coming up, which means peak breakup season has arrived. And that is a GOOD thing. I'm going to open my show tonight by playing a few songs about how much it sucks to be in a bad relationship... And then I'll spend the rest of the night singing about how glorious it is to meet someone new, fall in love, and stay in love.

​Among the "why you should end a bad relationship" songs are There's No Such Thing As Justin, which is about a lie so big, it's like the person you loved never even existed... so you can't even be sad about it.

And, of course, one of my crowd favorites, What I Put In (Newton's Third Outlaw) -- because in physics, every action has an equal and opposite reaction... but in relationships, that's not always true.

Songs about how great it is to fall in love include Year-Round Valentine, an original duet that I sang solo (plight of the full-time single traveler: it's rare to find a duet partner).

(In case you're wondering, the special device I described that does everything a man can do and more is a BOSS Vocal Effects pedal, and it is AWESOME.)

​​I Love This Coffee Mug, which is about finding love in the dunes. 

And Feels Like a Lot, which is about how ABSOLUTELY ELECTRIFYING it can feel when someone you're falling for touches you a little -- accidentally bumping your elbow on the armrest, touching your back when they zip your wetsuit -- and it feels like a lot.

Romantic love is one of the greatest gift from God. 

Which is why, this Valentine's Day, if you're with the right person, you should celebrate your amazing partner.

And if you're with the wrong person, you should drop the line, and watch them drift away.